Eris and the golden apple

How a goddess crashed a wedding and ignited the flames of the Trojan War. 

In the beautiful palace of King Peleus, Byzantine socialites gathered for the wedding of a lifetime. It was to be the union of the king and the enchanting sea nymph, Thetis. Gods, goddesses, and heroes were among the esteemed guests, and they anticipated an evening of opulence and glamour.

But, amid the opulence, one uninvited guest made her way through the crowds outside the palace. Eris, the goddess of discord, was already weaving a trail of disquiet. The bridal gown she wore confused some members of the public. This was supposed to be the wedding of Thetis and Peleus, no? Others groaned as they recognised her. No-one wanted her there. She was known for making cringeworthy remarks at the most inappropriate times.

There was a collective gasp as onlookers saw Eris slipping into the wedding hall through a side door. The goddess could see that all eyes were on the bride as the vows were exchanged. But, unbothered by social norms, she let out a loud laugh. Then, when everyone turned around to glare at her, she produced a golden apple. Throwing it on the ground, she said, “I am told that this apple is for the fairest goddess in the hall.”

The wedding hall fell silent as the golden apple rolled to a stop at the feet of three powerful goddesses. Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite were sitting together.

And the goddesses sat there, each not wanting to declare herself the most beautiful. Offended by hostile stares from the guests, Eris swept out of the hall in a huff. The happy ceremony was transformed into a scene of frozen panic. Peleus rolled his eyes and clenched his jaw, and his bride burst into tears.

While the guests grappled with the aftermath of Eris’ rude interruption, Paris picked up the golden apple. He promised to gift it to the fairest mortal woman, should he be lucky enough to meet her. Everyone agreed that this was the best solution. Aphrodite thanked him for his gracious intervention and promised him that soon, the most beautiful woman in the world would fall in love with him.

This was how the wedding of Peleus and Thetis became a tale forever preserved in verse. Eris congratulated herself on ruining a wedding, not realising that she had ignited the flames of the Trojan War. The story of Paris of Troy and Helen of Sparta would be remembered forever as one of beauty, tragedy, and destiny.