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Scrum Mastered

Scrum for creative focus

Are your goals clearly defined? Your next step is to collaborate with likeminded individuals. Work with practical, updated information. Record results and refine your process as you go. To master the practice of scrum, recognise when it is necessary to regroup and realign. Then do it.

Screen caps from the desktop version

The first iteration of this installation was a mass of crawling text that broke WordPress. Yay! But after it broke my phone’s browser, I decided to update this post with a collage of screen caps from Reader and the main site.

Glitched text on main page and in Reader.

Thankfully, I had saved the screen caps for the tweet design below, so it was easy to make another pass with the two typography posters. I hope you enjoy them.

It’s art and it is business
Categories
creative writing fashion fiction health opinion women writing

Be good to yourself

Retro style green and brown poster which says be good to yourself
Be good to yourself

I am still broadening my horizons and yesterday, my list came to the rescue again, thank goodness. The project in question started with an idea: “Make a super short film with one actor, in a single frame, with minimal monologue.”

The first attempt at production was binned due to technical issues. There was a recast but the second attempt got scrambled during two separate uploads to a cloud server. C’est la guerre.

Have a weekend of tranquility

Once upon a time, I would point my iPad camera at something, press record, and an interesting short film would pop out. Now that I am trying to show you something, I find myself living a scene from The Truman Show.

What confirmed this to me was that this evening, a UK-based filmmaker offered me producer credits on his two upcoming films. Have you seen The Truman Show? This is that scene in the bank.

Enjoy a beverage and a great book,
hopefully, one you’ve written


Presently, an actor is filming a different mini micro super short story that I wrote. If we both like it, I will share it here.

They say that if you start nothing, there will be nothing. However, I have proven, over the past three months, that even with strong will and a positive attitude, this outcome can happen anyway.

Categories
art entrepreneurs fashion women

Keep on trying (Dior GIF bag flex)

Glitched photo of Dior gift bag with a gift, inside a cardboard box with a paper hand
Glitched Dior gift bags with gift

The dry paper hand is back with two small GIFs I made for you today. I am very happy because I welcomed my nephew over the weekend. It was also my birthday so the gif(t) bags are not random.

I find the TV scroll below oddly relaxing. It is also a great throwback to the good old days when people sat in front of square boxes. I hope you enjoy playing on Photo Mosh. I really enjoyed creating this installation.

Glitch television effect with Dior gift bag inside a cardboard box
Glitched TV

On Sunday, I was experimenting with some design ideas and on Monday, I wondered what would happen if I glitched out some images. The software is stable but the file sizes are about 20MB for the GIFs. It’s necessary to compress them. The “Glitched TV” above is 7MB and “Warped thinking”, below, was shrunk to 10MB.

Glitch screen effect with Dior gift bag inside a cardboard box.
Warped thinking

You will not get uniform results for every single kind of image. And though the video files are super heavy, the software I used doesn’t render jpg images large enough to print on a 16″ x 24″ poster. I need a workaround.

Dior gift bag moshed
Moshed on fleek

Hope you enjoyed the bursts of colour and the weird lines as much as I do.

Updated and edited: 2021.04.08. Thank you for viewing.

Categories
about me art creative writing fashion women writing

Everyone wants the cherry on top but it takes work to get there

Commitment Cupcake

Does anyone remember who said, “Follow your joy”? I think this quote is popular because everyone can imagine feeling happy at the final stage of a project. Recently, I told Caring for Art that my nightmares have become work product. I was not exaggerating. Public speakers will never tell you that you must hard work to find the thing to which you can happily commit. If they told you to face reality, nobody would pay them $50,000 to talk about themselves for 30 minutes.

And because I know that the truth is hard to hear, I feel confident that no-one will copy my secret formula, which I am going to share in this post. This is my recipe for staying committed and focused on the way to finding joy. First read it, then scroll down for a taste test. 

🧁 Commitment Cupcake 🧁

Ingredients
Absolutely everything real about you right now. 

Directions 

  1. Write down every idea you have but stay loosely attached.
  2. Seek advice from qualified experts. 
  3. Listen to advice and evaluate for quality.  
  4. Search for useful ideas in negative feedback.
  5. Be assertive but never argue, no matter what.
  6. Lose fixation on irrelevant details.
  7. Shut down anyone who attempts to devalue you. 
  8. Transfer your idea from a “hard” medium to a “soft” one. 
  9. Follow up on each new idea (see item 1).  
  10. Table, pin, or expunge unworkable ideas. 
  11. Shred your lists.  
  12. Start over. 
  13. Keep at it. 

The taste testCovers only
Item 8 became especially important this week when my plans came to a full stop. And though I was feeling isolated and trapped, I decided to shred everything and start over.  

Contessa Magazine: Cover 2 in Icelandic

One of many ideas I had written down was “launch a magazine”. However, I threw it out because there are billions of writers, millions of magazines, and only a handful of subscribers.

From that, I imagined what it would be like for a young writer to dream of launching a magazine only to hit roadblock after roadblock. How would this writer solve these problems? The answers to that question became the treatment for a writing project. My preferred medium for presenting that story is a “hard” one, so I pinned it for later.

The transfer to a “soft” medium was a frictionless fusion of my interests. After careful research, I did some math: photography + fashion + world cultures + health + making stuff up + graphic design = a concept that I really like.

That is to say, I will only produce the covers. I’ve posted two test copies for you and I hope you like them. 

Contessa Magazine: Cover 1 in English
(Spoiled it, so don’t look too closely)

Categories
art fashion gourmet

Roses + Coffee

Drip coffee package with specialty rose shaped cookies - pink.

This morning, I received a surprise gift: A box of rose-shaped cookies from a Tokyo patisserie called Tulip Rose. I can’t have the cookies because I’m gluten intolerant, so I took photos before giving them away.

Drip coffee package with rose shaped cookie - blue.

The illustrations are from individually-wrapped drip coffee sachets. I received four from a colleague who found them while hunting for coffee deals on Amazon. I have had three so far. (When I say I have coffee, I mean a milk substitute, cream, sugar, and coffee as a flavour).

Rose-shaped cookies

I kept the packaging in case I could create some yummy photo art. The moment has arrived, the coffee brand is called Tasogare, and the beans are from Ethiopia and Brazil. 

Drip coffee in package - green. With decorative wooden clothespins, and graffiti.

Thank you for your support so far. Please enjoy the cookies with your beverage of choice, a warm hug from me, and best wishes for the months ahead.

Box of rose shaped cookies (cookie petals with semi-solid cream filling) from Tulip Rose, Tokyo. Thank you scribbled over the top.

( ^ω^ )

Categories
creative writing fashion People women

Shame-free Romance (PG 16+)

 German Cornejo and Gisela Galeassi doing the tango
Photo courtesy Chigirev

If romance were like sports, winning would be easy. A game has rules and a clear winner. But as Grace Dent elegantly states it, “real love with actual humans can be an arduous task.” That is why, if you’re bashful, like me, you will be appalled by the idea of approaching a person and saying, “Please, like me, please.” It seems pushy and even rude but lots of men and women do this with no fear whatsoever. I wondered if I was missing out.

Over dinner, a friend helpfully suggested that I try to be bouncy. I thought she meant I was to change into a thigh-split dress and hurl myself from a moving car.

 Rebecca Ferguson in Rogue Nation
Photo courtesy Business Insider

I liked the idea, as it is a subtle way of asking to be introduced. Until another friend explained that she meant I should mislead witnesses with a padded bra.

While my friends discussed these details, I recalled three attention-grabbing techniques favoured by women Glampions. I’ve seen these tactics in sports: The Wedge, the Lob and the Shirt Pull. They are 100% shame free.

Wedge | When a woman is talking to a man you want like, wedge yourself into the conversation with a tango style pasada, and body block. Slowly caress his thigh with your thigh, à la Gisela.

 Lonestar Rollergirls, Photo courtesy Wikipedia

Lobbing | Pretend to misunderstand information.  Lob a series of pointed and penetrating statements at your rival’s pride. For example, Fantastic Bachelor says, “Ai, you look lovely this evening.” Ai says, “Sorry I’m late. I stopped for gas.” You respond, “Oh, no! Go home and get over your case of bad gas, that’s happening right now, at this moment. Remember? You mentioned it in la toilette yesterday!” Keep at it until she evaporates.

Caroline Wozniacki at the US Open
Photo courtesy Fansided

Shirt pulling | Pull up your shirt and expose your tummy, on which you’ve scribbled your phone number. This may cause Fantastic Bachelor’s brain to short circuit. If it does, he will text you over and over until he passes out.

 Photo: London 2012 Olympics

All right. I’m not sure I’ll ever be 100% shame free. But the tango looks enticing. It is a contact sport and it has a very dressy uniform.

Categories
creative writing fashion women writing

London, 1953

The intruder pulls me away from the closet door, believing I’m too frightened to react. But I am a woman with a plan.

One roundhouse kick to his chest fractures a rib. He reels backwards. His abdomen and chest form a ramp and I use it to vault over his head. Twisting in mid-air, I end the discussion, heel to jaw. He’s on a timeout.

His accomplice rushes in to assess the situation. My fists plough through his face. The concussion blinds him temporarily. Ax kick to the knee. He’s on the floor. I stomp on some fingers to disable a hand.

My bodyguards have finally joined us. They look shocked. (They’re also fired). I point to my wrist and say, “You were taking too long.”

I adjust my tiara and make my way to the banquet hall. Two hundred guests, most of them blood relatives, are waiting. My smile says, “Welcome to my coronation reception.” But to be honest, I am a bundle of nerves.

London, 1953 (Coronation Day)

Notes: Feminist Tuesday. Special shoutouts to Mek @ Work in Progress and the Artful Blasphemer. Thank you all very much for your support.

Photo: Claire Foy in “The Crown”, courtesy, Live for Film.

Categories
art creative writing fashion fiction

The Feast at Samhain

Three pairs of eyes, dusted heavily with shadows of Dior, beamed at the stage where a D-list “vessel” was just sold. The auction house, or rather, suite, was rattled by the combined assault of perfume, statement earrings and martini shakers. Plush carpets steadied the unquiet clacking of new Louboutins.

Up next was a down-on-his-luck A-list actor with perfect teeth, two ex-wives and mortgage payments of $60,000 a month. His nickname was, “Paper Tiger.” The auction proceeds, minus a 9% fee to the organisers, would net him more than he earned from his latest blockbuster film. He was a raw vegan, free of infection, drugs and alcohol. They could have called him, “Prime Meal.” His blood was that refined.

The auctioneer called the bid. “Vessel withholding one litre of highest quality, purest, untainted blood of Hollywood’s acting elite. Bidding starts at nine MILLION dollars.”

The actor’s pulse raced as all paddles clapped the air in unison. It was one past nine of the clock. The vampires would continue bidding for two hours and ten minutes.

🖤

Happy Halloween!

Photo credit: The three vampires are wearing Christian Dior Haute Couture – via Blogazine.

Categories
art fashion People

Corona

Pink edit - Popsicle
Berry Soda

Acrylic and moulding paste on
A4 illustration board (processed)

Orange edit - Orange silk
Orange Silk

This is a practice painting I’ve been playing with since early March. It started as an orange stigma and petals in shades of green, on green illustration board. Later, I painted over it in light rose and oxide black. And finally, in deeper shades of rose.

Two versions of the painting were photographed on magazine pages. Below is the light rose edit I’m using as wallpaper for my phone.

iPhone screensaver edit - on magazine pages, a model is wearing a spiky Game of Thrones style tiara and necklace.
Corona – The Same Face

Outtakes: The collage below shows the edits that nearly made it to the main presentation. This time, I really couldn’t make up my mind. The final deep pink version appears in this one.

Collage of alternate edits
Collage with texture details

Corona - Banner with inverted text, by SB

As always, I wish you a lovely day. Thank you so much for viewing.

Magazine photos – Maggie Jablonski by Elena Rendina for Numero, Tokyo, “Be Gorgeous”, vol 91, November, 2015. 

Categories
art fashion opinion

Antique Moss Green

paper plate with green wall paint
Antique Moss Green

Ordinary, exterior wall paint (yellow in green) drying out in a paper dish, on a sheet of newspaper. The result of a demonstration that wall paint doesn’t blend like artists’ colours.

Categories
art fashion

No Forks Given

aluminum cans
Varnished aluminum cans …

A head dressed up
… dressed up a head

Can I have a witness? Two hours after swearing on a stack of fifty imaginary Bibles that I would never, ever, ever publish anything from my archives, I found myself wedged in a situation.

Hiatus
Hiatus

Wired
Lomo wired

newspaper roses
Newspaper roses

Summer, 2009 – A friend and I thought, “Let’s, like, totally deface a mannequin as an homage to Alexander McQueen (memba that headdress?) and Junya Watanabe (Comme des Garçons).” Yeah, sure, she had some at home, so we borrowed one. Ow!

Netted
Netted

Defaced
Defaced

red tab
Red tab

Instead of using plastic to wrap the soda cans, as in the McQueen Horn of Plenty Autumn 2009 show, we used 110 denier tights, glue and wire. Nail polish went on the lips, can motifs and Hangul lettering. The barcode was inked with permanent marker.

Forked over
Silver painted forks

My friend was really into Korean pop music and the Hangul script was hers. I have removed the forks because I don’t remember why we added them.

The heart can
Heart can wire

They are tucked away in a basket on a nearby shelf. But please don’t get any ideas. I’m not giving away any of my forks.

No Forks Given
Modern art, these days

Thank you for viewing. xo

Categories
fashion People

Faux pas

If Kublai Khan were to see my hair today (92% humidity), he would mistake me for a cave dweller. Do not be misled, Kublai. I am a vain, stuck up, precisionist who was raised by a Debrett’s handbook.

I once torpedoed plans to fund a small wedding party for a recently married colleague. I objected because he invited part-time staff to his wedding. However, he snubbed full-time, worked-to-the-bone six-days-a-week staff. He did not follow protocol and inform his boss. He kept it a secret from the persons who covered for him when he skipped work.

The Monday following nuptials by the lake, the Photo Album was flopped on my desk. As I thumbed through it, there was a faux smile on my face. But he still hadn’t told me he was now married, so I did not congratulate him.

Victoria Beckham. I have two versions of that dress in grey.
Photo credit: Pop Sugar.

Snobs resemble prudes to a degree. But prudes are predictable and rigid across the board. You already know what they’ll disapprove of. To succeed as a snob, however, you need to have double standards and these must fluctuate unpredictably.

For example…

Thanks to Marc Jacobs’ final rule-bending antics at Louis Vuitton, I now have a collection of dresses that could pass for nightgowns or underwear. I have also been outdoors looking like this:

 Alexander McQueen Photo credit: Vanity Fair, Italy.

Ask my wine club. And yes, it is appropriate for male guests to remove their clothing after a few glasses of Riesling. I won a pair of neon pink lace briefs in the raffle at the last gathering. The morning after, my inbox was flooded with requests to see me wearing them. That was everyone’s way of thanking me for a fun evening out.

Now, does this view pop your tart?


A facsimile of mornings in my office. Nail polish is banned, but this goes unnoticed. 

Photo credit: Star FM, Australia.

Because I’m a snob and have double standards, that does not pass. Not at 08:13 in the morning, when my eyes have just started to focus.

Categories
art fashion People

Prude

Prude

Collage, one Saturday morning

x (∿°○°)∿ ︵ ǝʌol
Love is free and I am an equal opportunity ego butterer.
x (。♥‿♥。) 1000%  ( ⋆•ิ ᴈ-ิ(ᵕ❥ ᵕ⁎ ॢ) x
Sabiscuit

… continued in Notes 5/3 

Categories
fashion poetry

Trendi

She is fighting the glamour wars
during office hours in cropped pants
of size… six?
You’d better take notes
and get in the mix

She is delighted to spread
in fashionless sense
with plumped up pride
what a skirt should hide

I think Mrs West is my icon and I’m, like, you know, following her on Instagram. I liked, you know, all of her posts yesterday. She wears see through tights with jackets. Now everyone is doing it. So I wanna be, like, the first person to, like, wear all capri pant suits. Just suits! I want that one and that one and that one…

OMG did you see the Queen of Spain
whose canary capris were a faux pas in vain
for Trendi bought them in bale and
f
l
i
p
s
that mane

Minutes after noon, she’ll toss
her meal in the trash
then dab some gloss
to soothe a lip rash
caused by (vitamin) deficiency
but not to worry
Facebook is telling me,
these capsules heal effectively

Haughtily she swipes past
sucking all your energy
pretending to have a blast
There goes Trendi
on a Pepsi Cola fast

Categories
fashion fiction men women

A Chat with Mr Ford (1 of 3)

Storm
I am sorry if you are offended by my remark. I was not using the term “gay” in a denigrating way.

Neil
Well, I am not offended by that. The thing is, the kind of woman I want to attract won’t pay attention to a man who is not metrosexual.

Marcus
I see. What kind of woman is that?

Neil
The kind of woman who would be impressed that I took a photo with Tom Ford, but would roll her eyes at one of me with Marc Jacobs.

Storm
Hmmm…

Marcus
What’s the difference?

Neil
Haute couture and high fashion. Exclusivity and accessibility. Marc Jacobs is very down to earth and friendly. Tom Ford is not relatable.

Marcus
I see, so you want to meet Tom Ford?

Neil
No, I want to be photographed talking to him. Not posing side by side. It’ll look like I asked him for the photo.

Storm
That’s all? Is there a magazine you wanted the photo for?

Neil
No… Well, can I get that?

Storm
Sure. We could arrange a thing or two, but he’s very sweet in person. I’m not sure how … he will make you look edgy.

Neil
It’s the aura he has, of being so aloof. If I’m seen in a photo with an aloof person, the women I want to attract will covet my attention.

Marcus
Why not just ask them out? The women you like.

Neil
Well, I do, but I keep getting turned down. I’m determined to not let my lifetime investment go to waste.

Storm
What kind of investment are we talking about?

Neil
Two hundred thousand dollars. I mean, I have put every cent I saved into this.

Marcus
I’m not trying to talk you out of going for what you want, but don’t you think that you’ll have financial problems if you’re constantly keeping up with this couture theme? You’re an attractive man, physically flawless, women must be all over you.

Neil
I can’t give up on this. I’ve spent too much money. I have invested too much time. I’ve endured too much hardship.

Storm
Alright. How about Lulu Bellini?

Neil
No. She’s not the type I’m going for.

Marcus
You’re similar in height and body type. She’s Karl’s muse and Tom lusts after her.

Neil
Yeah, but I want someone who is less acquired taste and more seasonal favourite, like a Bar Refaeli. She’s certain not to go out of fashion next season.

Marcus
Bar has gone out of season, as of when she was dumped by Leo. No one is buying her Chinese made panties. This is an age where beauty is all inclusive. It’s not dictated by the norms of the old guard.

Neil
I need this, though. My life plan has this particular condition attached.

Storm
Do you have a specific person in mind?

Neil
Yes, but she is not impressed by …

Marcus
You’re spending a lot of money here, and you’ve already put yourself out, as you said. I just want to know if this will be worth your while. We’re not obliged to be ethical, since I am a publicist, but I just want to point out that you might be chasing a rainbow. There is always a trade-off with these situations. Especially if you’re after the kind of person you’re after, as you say.

Neil
What trade-off?

Marcus
Have you carefully thought through the consequences of being this choosy?

Neil
What do you mean?

Marcus
You seem irritated. Do I sound judgmental?

Neil
Yes, and it’s annoying.

Storm
I can help you get a photo taken while chatting to Tom Ford, and I can talk to a friend at Bazaar and get that posted on their website. However, you need to wear one of his suits, and his fragrance, and you need to update your professional networking pages. You’ll need to stay in New York and wait for us to call you. It could be a four-month wait. We also need some credentials for you. People will be seeking you out when the photo gets published and they need something they can relate to.

Neil
I can do that.

Marcus
I apologise for offending you. Your preference is none of my concern. I would like to make up for the inconvenience to you, by doing this job for free. Our firm is equal opportunity, after all. We do not discriminate on the basis of our clients’ discriminating tastes.

Neil
Thank you. That’s all I ask.

Marcus
If you’re interested, we have a job opening for a stylist and I wonder if you’d like to be interviewed for that? No hard feelings.

Neil
I appreciate it. That’s very kind of you. May I have some lemon water, please?

Storm
Sure.

to be continued