Month: October 2023

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Unity through Compassion: Lessons from Saint Elisabeth 


This morning, I was moved to reflect on the life of Saint Elisabeth, cousin of the Blessed Virgin Mary. It was a strange and moving thought because I am not a devout Christian. Perhaps my unconscious mind was finally breaking free from the noise, propaganda, and hostility of recent days. As I learned more about Elisabeth, I understood why my mind was impressed. And I wanted to share the lessons I’ve learned with those who want to reflect on values which transcend race, nationality, and religion. 

Elisabeth is praised in Christianity and Islam as an exemplary of faith, patience, and compassion. Around us, there are people who emulate her compassion. They make a profound impact when they stand together for justice, truth, and fairness. Many of us are waking up from a comfortable slumber, having looked the other way when elected officials failed to represent us and our values. But today, we are reminded that ultimately, we must remain vigilant if we want to live in a fair and just world.

Elisabeth in Christianity, Islam and Judaism

In Christianity, Elisabeth is the mother of John the Baptist, who prepared the world for the ministry of Christ. In the Gospel of Luke, she is described as a righteous woman who was never able to have children. When she was past childbearing age, as a reward for her unwavering faith, she miraculously conceived and gave birth to John. In Islam, she is mentioned in the Quran as the wife of Zechariah and the mother of John (Yahya). She is praised for waiting patiently for many years to have a child, and for never giving up hope. When she was told that she would conceive a child, she said, “My Lord, how can I have a son when I am an old woman and my husband is an old man?” (Quran 3:40). In both traditions, Elisabeth is a symbol of hope and redemption. Judaism offers a similar story in Hannah, the mother of the Prophet Samuel. Like Elisabeth, Hannah could not have children. Her fervent prayers, and her promise to dedicate her child to God, are similar to the patience and devotion seen in Elisabeth’s life.

We are Elisabeth

The beauty of Elisabeth’s story is that it bridges diverse traditions, and this universality is at the heart of the brave activism I see every day. I’ve seen how our compassion and advocacy as a society are helping to amplify the voices of the oppressed. I have seen renewed efforts to support the people who are helping to alleviate the suffering of others. The voices of the oppressed, marginalised, and downtrodden have been calling out for justice. More and more people are listening. They are inspired, in their own lives, to show up with resilience, kindness, and advocacy. Let us now recognise these values in ourselves. 

Resilience through community: Elisabeth’s relationship with Mary, the mother of Jesus, shows us that we thrive in supportive and empathetic communities. Oppressed people find strength in unity by connecting with others who have similar experiences.

The power of prayer: Elisabeth’s patience and faith were supported by continuous prayer. Prayer is a way for us to focus on healing. Keep encouraging oppressed individuals to find solace and strength through prayer, meditation, or mindfulness, as these can be a source of comfort, which they need.

Acts of kindness: Elisabeth’s open declaration of support for her young cousin, Mary, at the Visitation, was kind. Five months into her miraculous pregnancy, she helped her cousin to shoulder the weight of her calling, by accepting God’s plan for John, her own child. This was the extent of her kindness and compassion. Acts of kindness within our communities should be acknowledged and encouraged. This will foster a sense of unity, which others can emulate. 

Finding meaning in suffering: Elisabeth found meaning in her own suffering. And similarly, our experiences with adversity have helped us to understand others who are struggling. Maintaining a positive focus can send a powerful message to others who are in despair.

Learning from history

It is so important for us to learn from the past. And for me, this means connecting Elisabeth’s story with other histories of resilience and triumph over adversity. By focusing on positive values, I have been able to fully appreciate the advocacy work of others. While patience and faith are important, we must actively work towards positive changes in our world. Even if we can’t do something on our own, we can support those who engage in advocacy.

Outro

Saint Elisabeth reminds us that if we have enduring hope and resilience, we will be redeemed. For people of faith, she symbolises trust in the divine plan. She shows us that even in the most improbable circumstances, our faith, patience, and humility can be our greatest strengths.

Hopefully, we have seen the richness of Elisabeth’s values reflected in our own lives. If so, may we be encouraged to continue, because as a global community, we have done good work through our love and respect for humanity.

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Rapunzel’s Birthday

Once upon a birthday eve, Rapunzel sat by her window and gazed into a humble cup of water. The water reflected her once-golden hair, which now glistened with the silvery grace of time. The Witch and her spell were first spoken an eternity ago. They now echoed, “Thine fate is to ascend as a sovereign; to linger here, aloft the forest’s crown, to safeguard thine ethereal grace.” Weariness tugged at Rapunzel’s eyelids, not only from the years passed, but also from the endless waiting. 

The Witch had told her what happened to girls who were independent, curious, and resourceful. Cinderella was exposed as a shoeless poseur, and she was laughed at by aristocrats on the palace steps. Briar Rose was still in a coma after trying to use a spinning wheel. And Little Red Riding Hood was scarred for life by the Woodcutter who had claimed her from the wolf’s belly.

Handsome, wealthy princes, the Witch promised, despised women who could cultivate gardens, gather herbs, and prepare their own meals. Why? Because working all day in the sun made their skin wrinkled and leathery. Rapunzel shuddered at the thought of living as a sun-damaged housemaid who smelled of chicken coops. So, she dutifully nurtured her own studied passivity, hoping this would draw a saviour to her window.

Years passed and upon the Witch’s demise, the forest provided for Rapunzel. Its creatures delivered fresh berries, garden vegetables, and edible mushrooms to sustain her. Her modest plant-based meals ensured that she retained the lithe figure of her youth.

Melancholy nestled deep within her soul. And from it, a permanent unhappiness crept over her. The prince’s promise to return, made over half a century earlier, remained unfulfilled. As time spun its web, the forest swelled shut and hope turned to delusion.

On Rapunzel’s sixty-ninth birthday, her trusty entourage of forest creatures gathered to celebrate. Neesheeloha, Rapunzel’s favorite cuckoo, landed on the window sill and began to coo. Rapunzel smiled.

“Neesheeloha,” she said in her most charming voice, “Can you fly to the palace and tell the prince to come back here?”

Neesheeloha cooed twice. Then she cooed four times. Then she cooed six times. Rapunzel sighed. She didn’t understand what Neesheeloha was trying to tell her. The bird’s coos, unlike her lonely existence, resounded through the thick forest.

Rapunzel seemed unable to comprehend one stark truth. The pump, which had brought fresh, life-sustaining water to her suite for decades, was broken, and only a human could repair it. She looked wistfully at the leaky bucket perched in the corner of her suite. Besides her parents, and the Witch, she hadn’t met another person besides that princeling who had scaled up the side of the tower to spend time with her.

The door to the suite had remained unlocked for years. The front door of the tower had been blown open during a violent storm. Daylight peeked up the dark stairwell as if to guide Rapunzel down and into the world beyond the forest. She could have searched for someone to mend the pump and come back to wait by her window. But so powerful was the Witch’s spell that she never dared to step outside. 

***

Notes: Happy Friday 13, with best wishes for All Hallows’. I’ve made many attempts to retell Rapunzel and was relieved to finally discover a set of themes that work with the story. In this retelling, I added doors because anyone using Rapunzel’s hair as a rope would seriously injure her. The version retold by the Brothers Grimm shows how dangerous certain beliefs can be if we cling to them blindly. Thank you for reading.

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The Trials of Rita Marley

Rita and Bob Marley

The upcoming Bob Marley biopic, titled Bob Marley: One Love, is scheduled to be released in the United States on February 14, 2024 by Paramount Pictures. Ahead of the film’s release, I wanted to share my personal reflection on the legacy of Rita Marley, a perspective which is not normally covered by the media. When I was growing up in Jamaica, Bob Marley was already a global icon, but at home, his music was polarising. While the world celebrated his messages of unity and social justice, his music was often viewed with suspicion by the establishment elites and by our Christian society at large.

In the decades after Jamaica’s independence, colonialism still cast long shadows, and this led me to assume that the criticism of Bob Marley’s music was rooted in bigotry. The racial prejudice that persisted at home often clouded the judgment of those who labeled his music as degenerate. As I reflect on those days, I’ve come to realise that beneath the controversy was a deeper issue: the dysfunctional relationship between Bob Marley and his wife, Rita Marley.

In 2004, Rita told BBC Caribbean Service that Bob’s extra-marital affairs were “painful” but she endured because she was in love with him. One of his most notorious affair partners was Cindy Breakspeare, Miss World 1976. Her affair with Bob Marley brought both admiration and condemnation. She was a white woman, and she faced a different kind of scrutiny because the establishment elites held her to a higher standard. Routinely, they dragged her into the public square and roundly reprimanded her for letting the side down.

Amidst this turmoil, Rita Marley was a symbol of the compliant women of the Silent Generation and Baby Boomer era. In her own words, “It’s a natural thing, Jamaican men have a thing where they want more than one woman…” This was the attitude that enabled immature and irresponsible behaviour, even though extramarital affairs, multiple partners, and children born out of wedlock were in clear conflict with conservative Christian (or Rastafarian) values of the day.

Even as a child, I wondered why Rita Marley allowed her husband to treat her like that. And many women cast a side eye at Cindy Breakspeare, who didn’t seem to mind her own public stoning, and spoke proudly of her fling with Bob. Apparently, she worked out that associating her name with Bob Marley’s would help boost her own music career. Later, she did the same for her son, recording artist, Damian Marley.

Pop art portrait of Bob Marley

The probate battles over Bob Marley’s fortune that consumed over a decade of Rita’s life served to damage her reputation rather than burnish it. Among the many episodes was the lawsuit from her late husband’s estate, which alleged that she forged Bob’s signature on backdated documents and removed assets from his estate. More affair partners and (alleged) children were thrust into the media spotlight. It was as if everyone who had a baby in the late seventies was lining up to say Bob was the daddy.

Could Rita have taken a different path through divorce? She had access to the very best legal advice money could buy. At the very least, she would have been entitled to half of Bob’s assets and claimed a portion of his future earnings to support her children with him. His refusal to draft a will to look after his family, even as he lay dying of melanoma, was ignorant, negligent, and selfish. His final words to his son, Stephen, “Money can’t buy life,” don’t strike me as particularly heroic. Over the years, the highly publicised probate case was used to teach breadwinners how to properly protect their assets and adequately provide for their families.

Bob Marley’s daughter Cedella

In my youth, I believed that the fairytale of wedded bliss would function as advertised. But around me, there were few role models who offered affirming guidance for women. Rita’s choices are understandable in the context of the 1970s, but we should remember that healthy, happy marriages are a contemporary notion. Rita came of age in a time where wives were expected to serve the needs of their husbands. And they often did so at the expense of their own dignity.

Today, the landscape is shifting and we are no longer expected to put up with toxic behaviour. We are encouraged to embrace emotional vulnerability and communicate openly. However, the legacy of famous wives like Rita Marley, who chose not to confront injustice, carries its own weight. If Rita had chosen to fight for herself, she might have done more for women who felt unsupported in their struggles. While she was not obligated to act as a beacon of strength, I believe that her silent acceptance of the status quo helped to muffle the voices of women who needed an advocate.

Pop art portrait of Rastafarian woman

Rita’s story reminds us that the legacy we leave behind is not only about our personal choices. We should consider their potential impact on those who come after us. One example stands in contrast to Rita’s choice to accept her husband’s philandering. Diana, Princess of Wales, took a markedly different approach when faced with her own marital problems.

Diana got married in 1981, the same year that Bob Marley died. She was fifteen years younger than Rita. Fourteen years later, her willingness to openly discuss her mental and emotional struggles, including Prince Charles’ affair with Camilla Parker Bowles, broke with royal tradition. Diana’s candidness not only shed light on the emotional toll of a strained marriage but also challenged societal norms. The public supported her even as the establishment did its best to paint her as mentally unstable. In other words, standing up for herself was tough, but she did it anyway. Even today, Diana’s ghost trails behind the regnal robes of King Charles III (as it should).

Pop art portrait of children of Bob Marley

The real trials of Rita Marley are the consequences of the choices she made as a woman of her time. Her story reminds us that the responsibility for fostering healthy relationships lies with both individuals. And regardless of societal expectations, we should love and respect ourselves instead of searching for partners and status symbols to give them to us.

Rita’s story is rooted in an earlier generation, but it is a mirror we can use to reflect upon the progress we’ve made. Let us keep challenging toxic relationship patterns as we promote healthier ones. Rita Marley’s trials, in the end, are a lesson in what we need: courage, self-respect, and dignity in the pursuit of personal fulfilment.