Categories
Earth Mars

Not Safe For Work (Warning! Explicit language)

Lilibeth
Penelope Slutfest Hannish, OPP, BDSM, BJ, HJ… Where is she? You are not a cow on a farm in the English countryside, so why are you mating with all the bulls?

Peas
I beg your pardon! How did you access this network?

Lilibeth
Where is the boy? Don’t worry about resetting your system. An army of tech mercenaries owns your network. I told them of the rich data mining opportunities on your servers and you have their undivided attention. Because I’m kind, you will get three minutes to tell me where you’re keeping the little Martian boy, or they will turn off the power and jam open your outer doors. I will watch with pleasure as you and your tag team freeze to death in that …

Peas
You do not know what you’re talking …

Lilibeth
I read your blog. According to this post, a mystery team rescued an extraterrestrial from a crashed ship and has him sedated and stashed somewhere ready for transport. According to these juicy emails, the “cargo” is stuck there until the end of October, when a crew from JAXA and ESA will come for him. My team traced the breadcrumbs you left on Mob Gnarley’s website back to you at these coordinates. You accessed your account and updated a post two minutes ago. We know that because we have been watching your every move for the past two hours. And let me say, you English hootchies are freaky.

Peas
The blog is fiction.

Lilibeth
I do not believe that. Gnarley plagiarised you for his radio show and as he is trending on Twitter right now, it’s only a matter of time before your bosses catch on that you’ve been telling tales out of school. But that’s only the start of your problems.

Peas
This is ridiculous. I have nothi…

Lilibeth
Sit down! You’re a mechanical engineer, which means you don’t have the imagination for storytelling. However, your attention to technical detail makes you give great head. I need to set up playdates to get laid in Manhattan and you’re getting tag teamed in a cave in Antarctica by men who have families? Is slutfesting part of your contract? And don’t tell me you’ve used protection. I’ve seen you.

Peas
You’re going to kill me over some nonsense I wrote on a secret blog to pass the time? Or because you envy my content rich sex life?

Lilibeth
Call my bluff, you establishmentarian, government goon, triple penetration, ass cream guzzling, whorebag slut!

Peas
Look, I can be in a lot of trouble just for even talking to you. I signed confidentiality contracts.

St Lucas
Do you recognise me?

Peas
What…?

St Lucas
A Martian boy is lost here on this planet and his father is right now in orbit, waiting for me to tell them where to pick him up. It took him a year to get here. You better hope he’s alive.

Peas
I can’t help you. I don’t have any authority.

Lilibeth
You know where he is. The fuck with your job. Where is your humanity?

Peas
This is not my fight.

Lilibeth
You’re willing to precipitate a Martian invasion because you’re too up yourself to see the big picture.

St Lucas
All you need to do, to make this all go away, is point me and them in the right direction.

Lilibeth
Tell you what. Let me give the go ahead and open the doors. Split screen… It is negative thirty Celsius outside at the moment. Bitch, you see that? That is your five hundred thousand dollar, state of the art, icebreaker, slash snow plough, slash snow blower…it’s full of fuel and is now reversing at full speed towards your door. Wait for it… Wait for it…

 

Peas
Shit!!

Lilibeth
She scores! Let your bukkake boyfriends pick that up. I’ve just… sent a message with your exact coordinates to his father and his grey warriors. They’re something fierce and the third. And they are coming to have a talk with you. The door is wide open, so they’ll walk right in and terminate your funk ass.

Peas
What the… Oh my … my … arrrrr…. head feels weird… Urrr… Ruuuu….

IMG 2

Lilibeth
Siemus, can you see that metallic stuff sticking to the walls? I think they’re there already. That was fast.

Siemus
They might have already been in the area. Why’s she suspended in mid air? And her eyes are moving really fast, like a skipped CD or something.

Lilibeth
It’s the metal in her suit. I’m guessing they’re focusing a really strong laser or magnet on her coordinates. If her rapid eye movement is anything to go by, they are using something like a eleventh generation FMRI to search her visual cortex.

Siemus
You think they can physically retrieve information on his whereabouts, from her brain?

St Lucas
You can stop feeling guilty about your talent, Lilibeth. I think your tech is generations more advanced that what the Martians are using.

Lilibeth
That’s a scary thought. For my sex life. I need to make a call to finalise the last leg of this trip. I want to collect some trophies…ah, I meant…to do a thorough cleanup before the JAXA and ESA assholes get there.

TCMIV
Right.

Lilibeth
Siemus, stay on the bitch. What am I saying? Her brain’s magnetically fried forever, so she’s not going anywhere. I meant, signal me as soon as you have on screen confirmation of their arrival.

~-~

+**~

Images

  1. Halley VI: The World’s First Modular Research Station in Antarctica. Hugh Broughton Architects.
  2. Davis after a blizzard. Snow covering the exterior wall of the Living Quarters. Courtesy, Antarctica, Australia Government. May 30, 2014.
  3. Snow vehicles for Antarctic Observation via Ohara Corp Japan.
  4. Reconstructed images from FMRI brain scan of the visual cortex, from research by Shinji Nishimoto, University of California, Berkeley

 

Categories
Earth

Boola Boola

Lulu
Ninety five.

Harriet
Okay, how many more grids left? And we haven’t covered the north side.

Lulu
I now understand that GIS is really sucky. There’s too much data, and none of it is live. We need access to several satellites and military grade software if we are ever going to get this done in time.

Harriet
Not necessarily. We could use drones and do the physical search that way. I mean, do you know anyone who could lend us a few drones?

Lulu
You mean, my father? If he agrees to lend us drones, which he won’t because this is just a game to promote Luke St James’s new blockbuster movie, how can we use them effectively, if we have only two sets of eyes?

Harriet
I have an idea. Come with me.

:::::::
….. ….. …..
:::::

Harriet
Hello, bitches.

Rori
What up.

Harriet
Drop everything and come with me.

Bart
All of us?

Harriet
Yes, all of you.

Heath
Yes, Princess.

Harriet
I’ll give you a free pass Heath, because you’re seriously into me. And I might throw some at you later.

Bart
What’s this all about?

Harriet
The new interactive game, “Find the Martian Spaceship” with “Find the Martian Boy” for Lamda Six. My darling, St Lucas, apparently came up with the concept himself.

Heath
Bad ass concept. I mean, it’s so simple and so state of the art. It’s got 3D animated aliens and did you see the ship designs? Too cool.

Lulu
Yeah, Icelandic runes were an unexpected artistic touch. I liked how they draw in all the world cultures we normally don’t get to see in movies.

Harriet
Guys! I’m in charge of the presentation.

Bart
The Martians’ face tattoos resemble Maori, which is extremely cool in itself.

Rori
Bart and I are playing right now. We’re betting on the North Pole.

Bart
We’re sharing the two hundred thousand dollar grand prize. I mean, Icelandic runes means, Lapland, et cetera. Big clue. Winners!

Josh
I have Nero’s econ mock exam tomorrow.

Heath
Pssht! He’s hot for you. Just do a strip tease to calm him down, and he’ll pass you with flying colours.

Josh
You know, you should really…

Harriet
Is anyone here going to listen to me?

Bart
I’m listening.

Harriet
I was thinking, we pool our human resources and split the prize money equally. Not that this is about money. This is about pride, people. Hansel! Join us.

Hansel
Hiya.

Harriet
I was saying, everyone is playing this new game “Find the Martian Spaceship”. You have heard of it.

Hansel
I have, and so has everyone who’s breathing. I just read that the launch announcement got thirty eight million retweets in the first four hours. The Lamda Six website’s crashed now, by the way. There are mirror sites popping up by the minute. This game is literally breaking the Internet.

Rori
Take that, Kim Kardashian’s butt! Although, physically, it’s like literally looking for a needle in a haystack. I meant the game, not her “asset.”

Harriet
Can I please just get on with my presentation? It is seriously like a preschool in here. As I was saying, luckily, I have a brilliant idea. Lulu and I have been using GIS software we borrowed from the lab to analyse the terrain in specific locations. We haven’t been able to come up with anything because, and this did not occur to us before, but we’re looking at archived images of terrain.

Heath
Right…that makes sense. But we can’t like, use satellites.

Harriet
No. We can use drones. Lulu’s Dad owns the world’s largest drone manufacturing company. She is on the phone with him right now. I don’t know what she’ll say to convince him, but we have to assume that she will get permission. Plus, we’re both geography majors, so it’s like, educational. It’ll be fine.

Hansel
I admire your confidence.

Harriet
Don’t condescend. Alright. Are we all together?

Josh
Isn’t it like, not cost effective to use drones? I mean, they’re expensive and the cost of operating them would be more than the prize money.

Harriet
Get over yourself, Josh. You’re still an under graduate. Who cares about the cost, people? We can’t let the Oxford team steal our glory. I found out this morning that they’re seriously organised. They have taken over a whole dormitory and are using it as a command centre.

Bart
No way!

Harriet
Yes way.

Rori
How do you know that?

Harriet
A certain geography professor has a crush on me from my short summer studies there last year. I think he was trying to impress me. We, on the other hand, are all over the place. Don’t you have any pride in your school? For the next seventeen hours, we will sweat and bleed to win the game. We use our superior assets, which are my brains, and your eyes and forefingers. It’s the perfect combination.

Bart
Yes, Princess. So, how does this work?

Harriet
First, let me explain why satellites won’t work. Remote sensing applications, that is the technical term for how satellites “see” things on the ground, have limitations. These are overpass frequency, timing and clear daytime skies. However, with drones, we can overcome all these limitations. Here’s how we will do that. While Lulu’s getting her Dad’s drones online, we need to become experienced observers. Let’s use the archived images to have an idea of what the terrain looks like normally. Then, we can see immediately what’s different about the location over the time period. We are looking at specific spatial patterns and how they change in time.

Hansel
What you’re saying is that while the Oxford team is wasting time looking at stale footage of the ground, we will be looking at the fresh, raw, real time information?

Harriet
Prexactly.

Hansel
Let me grab my laptop. You guys in?

Josh, Rori, Bart
Hell, yeah!

 

Categories
Mars

Sooner than at once

2014.02.14

[An approximate translation]

Xhi
Where is my CHILD?!!!

Ni
I checked his communication logs. He was talking to Si and Gi about children on Blue Star. He said he wanted to appear to his friend there. I don’t understand the meaning of this red glyph.

Xhi
Do not show that to me. If you are suggesting he physically went to Blue Star, he cannot commandeer a ship without anyone alerting us.

Ni
He’s highly capable. He is highly self reliant.

Xhi
He is still a child, who was in your care.

Ni
You’re angry with me. You blame me.

Xhi
I am not ready to be angry with you or anyone. Teleport me to the Docking Station. Ro?

Ro
Commander.

Xhi
Ki is missing. His nurse, Ni, thinks he might be on a transport ship headed to Blue Star. It is highly unlikely, but can you search every vehicle that’s been logged out in the last cycle?

Ro
I’ve found him, Commander. It appears that he has forged your authorisation codes.

Xhi
Normally, I would be proud of him, but I need him back at once. Tractor beams from the Friga Orbiter. Full power.

Ro
No effect, Commander. The ship is accelerating at an unpredictable rate.

Xhi
Override the console. Turn it around.

Ro
No effect.

Xhi
Open comms.

Ro
At this speed, there is a time delay, Commander. One half cycle. Send message anyway?

Xhi
Yes!

Ro
Commander, there’s a problem.

Xhi
What is it?

Ro
The transport ship Ki took… It was at the docking station for major repairs to … communication systems and … forward thrust adjusters. We cannot do a remote patch.

Xhi
How much time to intercept?

Ro
Unpredictable, Commander. He’s travelling at maximum velocity and will continue to accelerate due to the faulty adjusters. He cannot slow it down and neither can we. The transport ship is a projectile, Commander.

Xhi
He does not have the skill to fix it manually, assuming he even knows there is a problem. Ni, you know how he struggles to work on his own. He takes on too many tasks and does not accept help easily. He does not know his own limitations.

Ni
I know. I am sorry.

Ro
He’s had a quarter cycle head start, Commander. You might just be able to overtake him and use the tractor beams to slow him down. As long as he doesn’t get separated from the vehicle on entry into Blue Star’s atmosphere, he should be retrievable without incident.

Xhi
Ro, send this communication imprint to the Offworld Exploration Committee. My son is in danger and we have no time for resolutions.

Ro
Understood, Commander. Transport type?

Xhi
Right now, he’s a trusting [prepubescent boy], on his way to a star whose sentient inhabitants are extremely hostile to each other and especially cruel to offworld species. To rescue him, I am taking an armada. Our guests from the Ulura System are obliged to cooperate. Cancel their mining mission for Frá scheduled for later this cycle. I’ll need their advanced traction technology and the sheer size of their fleet to make a definitive show of force.

Ro
Yes, Commander. Preparing your core crew sooner than at once.

Ni
Should I come with you?

Xhi
Should you? Do you have somewhere else to be?!!!

Categories
Earth Mars

February 13, 2014

Siri/Ki
Hello again. How are you.

Sami
Hello Ki. I’m happy.

Siri/Ki
What did you do today.

Sami
I went to Central Park.

Siri/Ki
Do you go to Central Park every day.

Sami
No, but I go outside every day.

Siri/Ki
What is your favourite protective equipment.

Sami
Equipment?

Siri/Ki
Yes, things to protect your body for going outside.

Sami
I don’t use anything. But sometimes people take my picture. Mother protects me.

Siri/Ki
I understand. You are seen by everyone. My nurse and my father protect me too. What’s this one. There is a lot of data.

Sami
It’s a heart. Heart means “love.” Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Many people do something nice for people they love.

Siri/Ki
Only that day.

Sami
Yes.

Siri/Ki
That’s sad.

Sami
It’s nice. You have to give presents to show you love the person.

Siri/Ki
I don’t understand. I never have presents.

Sami
I get lots of presents on Valentine’s Day. I feel happy when I get a special surprise. When my father is far away, he takes a holiday to hang out with me.

Siri/Ki
Hang out with.

Sami
Yes. Just talk, or play a game. Or eat.

Siri/Ki
That’s every day with Ni, my nurse. My father is working really far away. It takes two years to come home.

Sami
That’s sad.

Siri/Ki
It’s sad.

Sami
You can be my Valentine! I will make a special surprise for you.

Siri/Ki
I understand surprise. I am so very happy when my father does it. He sometimes arrives home two cycles early. Can I make one for you too.

Sami
Let’s make them now!

Siri/Ki
Yes. Let us.

Categories
Mars

Sól hundar (Solar hounds)

[An approximate translation]

Si
According to our research, Blue Star sentients keep a variety of these non sentient species in close proximity. They have a strong affinity for each other. The relationship is marked by reciprocity in affective signalling.

Gi
We collected and analysed every representational electromagnetic imprint stored in their orbiting data storage facilities. We wanted to discover if this sentient, non sentient affiliation would offer applications that would benefit our society.

Fi
Were you successful?

Gi
Yes, father. This is what we found.

Mi
That is beautiful. The specifications are pristine.

Si & Gi
Thanks, Mother.

Gi
Sister and I want the opportunity to explain all to the Energy Council.

Mi
We will hear your presentation first.

Gi
We present a finished product in a highly polished super-compacted carbon isotope.

Fi
The cables go right through?

Si
Yes, the cables meet at these focal points, and we situate them in silica gel and padding, here, to reduce friction and facilitate ease of movement. Their source of power is (mineral compound 040416) mined from (Astro 326952XN). This superconductor requires a charge of five kilojoules to run perpetually. The eyes, here, are dual focus audiovisual recorders and electromagnetic transmitters with an array of light sources to allow detection by scouting vehicles outdoors.

Mi
How do these objects work?

Si
Our star is dark and receives a limited amount of sunlight, and as one of many solutions to the problem, we created this facsimile of their non sentient, which we have called a Hundur. It will capture energy from Sól in the cells fitted in the spine, here.

Gi
The Hundur will catch the sunlight as it travels at constant speed around our star, as it turns on its axis. It will follow the trail of radiation from Sól in one complete revolution. It never gets completely dark for them.

Fi
Will the initial charge provide the Hundar with enough power to travel at that velocity, constantly, over the course of one rotation around Sól?

Gi
Yes, it will.

Mi
May I suggest adding a larger charge and a secondary cell to hold the extra charge in case it is needed?

Si
Thank you, mother. We will adjust it before the Energy Council presentation. To continue, we used Blue Star’s measurement system to get Hundur’s proportions correct. Since the species is unique to that star, we felt that adjusting to our system would result in errors. Also they’re a highly resilient species and we wanted to take advantage of their survival skills on our terrain. Our weather is too unpredictable for designs similar to (dragonflies) or (bees). We wanted to keep them grounded for that reason. Let us talk about the actual body. Blue Star uses a base ten system as opposed to our heximal system. Gi?

Mi
Darling, before you continue, the base ten system is an artificial system, which does not harmonise with naturally occurring frequencies or cycles.

Fi
The ten digit metric was created to feed a currency system. Our historians tell us that Blue Star’s currency system was designed to bring sentients out of a primitive state. So, know that it is not critical to the effectiveness of your design. Continue, dear.

Gi
Thank you, father. Hundur stands at a height of one hundred base ten centimetres. Each bore, connected to the spine here, has a circumference of sixteen centimetres. Attached to each of the four distal ends, is a ped with a length of twenty-five centimetres to the proximal digit and twenty three to the distal digit. The spine is thirty centimetres high, measuring from base, and we created a cylindrical body to ensure stability. Inside the body, we will use a hexagonal configuration to build the Sól cells, to maximise compression strength in the event of seismic activities or severe weather disturbances. The cells run through the spine here in multiple hexagonal configurations. The entire unit stores energy to power one home for one year. The cells radiate blár when full at which time, the Hundur returns to its home.

Si
We propose that each family receives three units. We make instructions available to all homes and teleport at-home tutorials.

Mi
How will this venture benefit our communities, apart from giving us a new way to store solar energy?

Si
We will promote this venture by saying we will reduce the use of fossil fuels for energy towards zero over the next three Sól orbit cycles. At the end of this time, we will have full usage of all Hundar on a rotating basis.

Gi
Even better, mother and father, we imagine we will create four new industries with this venture. Manufacture. Technological applications. Monitoring. Maintenance.

Fi
That is to be expected, but let me say that you have outdone yourselves.

Mi
I think we can anticipate positive reception of all this, provided the tests are successful, of course.

Si & Gi
Thank you, mother and father.

Gi
To continue, and justify our choice of a terrain application, the Hundur’s design facilitates compaction in case high velocity projectiles are thrown at it in cataclysmic events. We, or, whoever, would of course monitor the movement of each organism from a central base, and allow the time to prepare. These carbon polymer arms here are released and these drills tunnel into the soil or surrounding bedrock. The Hundurs shelter in their drilled shelters until they have been reset from headquarters.

Mi
How strong are the polymer arms?

Gi
Super-diamond heads, like the ones used to mine (Astro 326952XN). The molecules have been further compacted using your latest compression technology, father. Added pressure points here, and because of the screws here, they can punch through … Rather, bore a hole through granite as if it were soft and sheer.

Fi
This is completely new. Thank you for improving on my work. How did you test the strengths?

Si
We did field tests with a full set of granite blocks and found the timing was equivalent to one sixteenth of a cycle. We varied conditions by plunging them under water.

Gi
And applying liquid helium.

Mi
We will need to do an actual terrain test for one revolution around Sól after receiving approval for this project. However, you have thought of everything so far, my little darlings.

Fi
What will you formally name this Hundur unit for the presentation?

Gi
Polymerised Extrasolar Technology. P.E.T. It’s easy to remember.

Categories
Earth Her Dark Arts

Section Two: Present Day

January 21 ‐ February 1

Fictional posts and art go above this sticky header. There may be some not safe for work material, so please be over the age of consent in your country. The contents of this blog may not be safe for work, and that’s the best thing about it.

The preface explains what I’m doing in this installation. Some of the characters have appeared in previous stories, and they include Jupiter, Lara, Marcus and Storm.

If you’ve landed here from outside of the WordPress box, you may want to look at previous art projects including the sticky ones below, or fiction scripts. If you press the like or follow button or leave a comment, please make sure that your website information is correct otherwise, I won’t be able to find your blog.

My heartfelt gratitude goes to readers for your warm support for Section One.