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Someone’s going to celebrity rehab, why not you (Satire)

Listen up, ’cause after this I bounce
Someone’s gonna be worth a billion
Gonna be a Glampire
When you sizzle
Make them hiss

(Grab that door, Mike!)
Shimmy on down
Uncross your legs
Grow some cleavage
Be a ‘ho

Someone’s gonna buy a fancy new title
(Lord!)
Gonna be the next homewrecker
Gonna gain what they all lose
Reach the cover of Star
Gotta be fake
Drag that hose
Pat that cake
Tweak that nose

Paparazzi’s gonna get tasered
In front of your house
Someone’s gonna sell Huggies on TV
Gonna land in the pool
Make that splash
Get that endorsement
Count that cash

You’re no second best
Housewife of Beverly Hills
(Washed up on Jersey Shore)
It’s all you Dancing with the Stars
So swill that gin
Flush that pot…

Someone’s going to Celebrity Rehab…
Why not you?

paparazzi harasses Paris

Photo credit: “Paparazzi harasses Paris” by Internets Diary via Flickr/Wylio

Inspired by the Guinness “Why Not You” television commercial, “Adam King” advertising campaign for Asia 2003-2005.