Tag: public relations

Categories
People

Notes 4/3

This is an update to Art of the Force, specifically about the entitled behaviour I called out.

I understand that some bloggers desire engagement in the comments section of their posts. I say again, it is best to ask for a comment. A cordial invitation at the end of a post will do. Coercive tactics and name-calling are not the way to build up a community of supporters.

And now I will explain why I don’t like to comment on other people’s blogs. I will tell you why I have abandoned comments after writing them. I sometimes write fiction, but when before accusing people of inappropriate behaviour, I will search for evidence first. In that spirit, I spent Friday night and Saturday afternoon testing two assumptions:

(a) Bloggers want me to comment on their posts.
(b) Bloggers acknowledge my comments.

I tested these assumptions with posts tagged art, beauty, life, love, poetry, romance and women. All posts had been published within thirty minutes of the start of the exercise. Excluded from my assumption were posts published by subscribers to this blog.

Here is what happened. All forty (40) of my comments went to moderation immediately. This is an issue with Akismet, and not the content of my comments. This means that only subscribers who were aware of this issue would be able to check their “Pending” folders for stray comments. I received only ten responses within 30 minutes. Responses included “x liked your comment”. After that, three more responses came in after two hours. Forty eight hours later, I am still waiting for 27 further responses.

One beauty blogger, in her post, specifically asked for questions so she could do a later blog answering those questions. I wrote three questions for a total of eight from other readers. She “liked” my comment but this alone satisfies my definition of a “response”. Of the 40 bloggers, two bloggers received compliments about their sense of humour; only one acknowledged and responded with a comment. Both had published their posts within minutes of each other.

This is how I felt. That was a horrible experience, and I understand why bloggers are so hesitant to post comments on other bloggers’ blogs. Some posts are scheduled; comments go to moderation and are cleared or approved. I felt that I had wasted my time. However, I felt somewhat vindicated because I had proven my point from the few responses I received.

Bloggers, add value to your brand by offering some quality interaction around your product. It’s not necessary to use the Queen’s English or talk much. We have control over what happens on our blogs. I have turned off like buttons to encourage comments; I have turned off comments whenever I felt that none was necessary.

There was a time when I wished someone would say something. Now, readers do. I warmly welcome longer comments and take them as a compliment, as affirmation that I’ve written something worthy of a response.

After I’ve used the Force and readers start joining the discussion, should I get super annoyed because they’re, like, writing comments on my bloaaaaag and I can’t deal with that? Attitude is everything. If you go to a book launch and the writer speaks to you in a “yeah, yeah, this is all about me… buy my book… I’m too busy, yeah” tone of voice, how would you feel about it.

Of course, you would. Because behaviour like that is ridiculous.

Categories
People

Nadia Monsengo

Guest post by Nadia Monsengo, a graphic artist living in the Netherlands.

My thoughts on Africa’s Image Problem
Nadia Monsengo
African Artista

A while ago I read a book in Dutch called: Hoe Congolees Zijn De Congolezen? It means, how Congolese Are The Congolese people? A very interesting book. It is basically about how the image and identity of the Congolese people has been lost due to the colonization. I would recommend this book; unfortunately, it is written only in Dutch. Well, for a more general view, we could look at the media of the Western world.

The way they feed on the negativity of Africa is disconcerting. The media only shows negative images of Africa (poor kids living on the streets, diseases, war). They show that Africa depends on them. Mainly through charities. They take advantage of the negativity of Africa and take advantage of the positive light it shines on them for giving generously. In the media there is almost nothing about the kingdoms of Africa. The way they ruled, what kingdoms there were. Basically, not much is written before the history of the colonization of Africa. I find this unfortunate. It looks as if Africans/Africa (except Egypt) did not exist before the colonization. It seems as if the image of Africans depends on the Western World.

Let’s talk about Ancient Egypt. I happen to know that there are many disagreements about the identity of the ancient Egyptians. Many believe that the ancient Egyptians were black and others (the Western World) believe that the ancient Egyptians were white. I do not know how the ancient Egyptians looked like, but I do not believe that they were white (like Europeans). Egypt is in Africa, so the most logical to me is that they had dark skin. Egypt is one of the ancient civilizations that was very developed  in terms of society and many other things.

A very developed country like Egypt could’ve been built by people of colour. And why not? A while ago I saw a documentary on the history of Africa. In this documentary they talked about the great monuments in Zimbabwe (then called Rhode Islands). During exploration of the country, the British refused to believe that the monuments (which were the remains of a great kingdom) were built by black people. They were convinced that these monuments were remnants of an old white civilization, that black people could not have built this. Again, I could not believe the image people then already had of Africans. This negative image of Africa/Africans, the Western World has goes way back.

Films
Why doesn’t the film industry produce more movies about great kingdoms of Africa? Why are there so many slave movies? Movies where black people are poor or slaves don’t contribute to a positive image of Africa. Why do people think that there is always war in Africa? Why do people think that a lot of Africans have HIV? If there is one thing I’ve noticed in the media, is that they ALWAYS use a black person in a commercial for HIV.

A former colleague of mine (she is Cape Verdean) told me once that her little sister always told everyone that she was not African and that Cape Verde was not a part of Africa. Only because of the bad image that people have about Africa. She was so much ashamed that she tried to convince people that Cape Verde was not a part of Africa! I was very much suprised when I heard this. I could not believe this.

I mostly blame the media for the poor image of Africa. Of course there are a lot of Africans that are ignorant and don’t care. I find this unfortunate. But I don’t fully blame them. When you look at Africa’s history, it is understandable how a lot Africans became this way. I once asked my mother if she could tell me something about our history before the colonization. And she did not know. It is very sad.

Categories
Earth

Darfurians

Shultz
… Nah, that’s alright. You drink?

St Lucas
Water, thanks.

Lilibeth
Scooch over. This dress is literally stifling me. Thank goodness I fit into a sample size. Not that a ten percent discount made a difference. I knew the feather train was a bad idea… Uhh… Hi. Whose car am I in?

Shultz
That’s a beautiful dress. Burberry.

Lilibeth
I’m concerned that you know this. Thank you. I’m concerned that you know this.

Shultz
Secret? My wife’s the new spokesmodel and she did a shoot for French Vogue in that dress.

Lilibeth
Your wife is a doll. Adorable. Unrealistically long legs. I literally worship her. She has replaced Victoria as Queen of the Galaxy. And, I find it ironic that Victoria designed this dress for Burberry that’ll crown your wife her successor.

Shultz
Thank you. Uhhhm… We haven’t been formally introduced.

St Lucas
This is Lilibeth Stefánsdóttir. She’s my…

Lilibeth
Head of his daughter’s charity organisation … for the … children … of Darfur. And other countries.

St Lucas
Yes, we’re … Yeah.

Shultz
Oh, I thought you two were…

Lilibeth
No. He’s not my type. I’m into married couples. Friday night Strip Minecraft? You two should join my spicy little group.

St Lucas
Lilibeth is here to ask… appeal. I mean, I’m here to appeal … Actually, why don’t I get my publicists on Skype? They’re better at this.

Shultz
Sure.

St Lucas
Marcus?

Marcus
Good afternoon and congratulations on another hit movie, Mr. Shultz.

Shultz
Thank you.

Marcus
This is Storm, my colleague. We’re working on a non profit project.

Lilibeth
For children in the Sudan. And other countries.

Storm
Yes, that’s… exactly. How do you do, Mr. Shultz? I’m such a big fan.

Shultz
I love your hair colour. It’s nice…

Storm
Thank you so much. Shall we get on with the presentation?

St Lucas
She’s shy.

Marcus
Let me start by saying that we are on an active campaign for the children of planet Earth. Our government has spent billions on failed missions to gather soil samples on Mars and haven’t disclosed to the public how these missions have any benefits for our planet’s future prosperity. We have social problems that would benefit from a fraction of that in social investments. We want to start a viral campaign. We will begin with an emotional appeal from a group of Japanese high school students who, last year, created a recycled gym wear collection drive for children in developing countries. The Japan Red Cross has cosponsored it. It hasn’t got worldwide publicity but it’s got lots of support in country. We would like you to push it into the stratosphere.

Shultz
I’m really disappointed I didn’t hear about this before. I visited Japan last month.

Storm
We have an affinity for non profit projects. Especially those created by ordinary people.

St Lucas
To get maximum support, we will piggyback off the publicity for my upcoming movie.

Shultz
You want to have people work hard for a real social cause while they’re waiting for the movie’s release.

St Lucas, Storm, Marcus, Lilibeth
Exactly!

Marcus
We want people to care for this as much as they care about the newest hit film. Donation wise, we want to present dollar amounts equivalent to items people buy regularly.

Storm
For example, you can donate a cookie, a sandwich, a donut, a cappuccino, or a hamburger and fries. We don’t leave the donation amounts open ended. That actually makes people less likely to choose to donate. We make it real. Tangible for them.

Shultz
I’m in, one hundred ten percent. What do you want me to do?

Marcus
Well, it’s very simple. We want a really unconventional campaign ad, so we would like to record your statement right now, in the car.

Shultz
Cool, I can do that. I’m all dressed up.

Storm
Thank you for cooperating. Speak a little louder than you feel comfortable doing, as we need to compensate for the sound editing later. Let’s record three times. Please lean forward. Just stare at the screen and read the text off it.

Shultz
Got it. Ready. Wait, I want to rehearse first. Can we do that? When does this ad get released?

Marcus
Ninety minutes. We upload it and through our contacts, who will hype it just as the images from tonight’s premiere are released. The morning shows will scramble to cover it.

Shultz
Okay, I like this better than mugging for the cameras. Are we ready to record?

Storm
Yes, we are.

Shultz
Lilibeth, can you count me down?

Lilibeth
With pleasure. Begin in five, four, three, two…

Categories
Earth

Time minus 29 hours 40 minutes

St Lucas
Storm, Marcus, I was pleasantly surprised you guys were even awake, much less working at four in the morning.

Storm
A client is doing a live interview in Melbourne at the moment, and we need to monitor all the media outlets here and in London. We tend to babysit our projects until they’re complete.

St Lucas
What did you both do to your hair? Marcus, pink looks beautiful with your skin tone.

Marcus
Thanks. I chickened out at the last minute. Storm, however, went hell for steel grey.

St Lucas
That’s the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen.

Storm
Thank you.

St Lucas
Well, you guys are professional, discreet and super talented magicians. Which is why I’m here.

Marcus
We’re listening.

St Lucas
This upcoming assignment is going to be the mad wood of mass marketing. But first, we need a sanctuary. We need a cone of silence.

Marcus
Got it. Turning off mobile devices.

Storm
Unplug the phone.

Marcus
I’ll set the windows to opaque. And…let us pray.

St Lucas
I need a publicity blitz the likes of which has never been seen. I need all eyes on this. I need everyone eating, drinking, dreaming this.

Storm
We’re with you. Every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess.

St Lucas
To that extent. Ladies, I want The Rapture. I need you to blur the lines between fiction and non fiction. It’s for an upcoming movie. But I want it to look like it’s not a movie.

Storm
Alright.

St Lucas
When I say “blur the lines”, I mean that elements of the campaign have to look real. If…someone …. an objective … statistician, let’s say, were looking at the data, that person should be convinced that this is real.

Storm
Alright.

St Lucas
The outcomes could be ordinary people lobbying the Government to release secrets. I want CSpan, PBS, NBC, Fox, ABC, CBS, CNN, BBC, Sky and Al Jazeera, did I miss anyone? Covering a controversy we engineered, twenty four, seven, three sixty five. Wars will cease fire to catch the latest details. I want so much noise about it that when the film comes out, people will not even know they were victims of an epic brainwash.

Marcus
Okay, right away I can think of a few things we can bounce off you.

St Lucas
Before you do that, there’s one more thing. And this is really important. I need all of this to happen in the next twenty nine hours and … thirty minutes. That’s why I’m here. I need the Wonder Twins.

Marcus
We’ve done this before, so we have an idea what you need. You’re saying you need a fake campaign to start a real one. Right?

St Lucas
Yes. Exactly.

Storm
We can do that. First, we need to understand exactly what we’re working with.

St Lucas
Alright. Look at these stills.

Categories
celebrity fiction women

Time to deflate

WW
This just came to me yesterday. CBS has a position open for GMA, and I want to go for it. So, I’m here to see if or rather, what I can use to make myself a shoo-in.

Krajeck
First of all, you need to be robust. How’s your health?

WW
I’m managing. I’m on a new healthful diet. At the moment, I’m going vegan for a month to do a health special for the show.

Krajeck
How’s it going so far?

WW
It’s a challenge, but I want to stick to it. It makes me need less medication because I don’t have the processed food toxins and preservatives in my body.

Krajeck
So when does it end?

WW
I’m on the last week, and I want to continue because I feel great.

Krajeck
The reason I asked is that definitely, the one month trial will go over well with the CBS executives. How did you document it?

WW
I have a video diary that I recorded with Glass. I thought that for the Google endorsement I would do something that people can relate to. Everyone eats, and most people are struggling with high blood pressure, diabetes and weight problems.

Krajeck
Excellent. Can you send us the raw footage? Instead of using your YouTube or Google Plus accounts, you will need to promote it through some of our other CBS connected clients: Chefs, journalists, and documentary filmmakers. We use their websites and social media feeds. The keywords are health, managing chronic illness, career and smart living. You will interview vegan chefs, nutritionists, endocrinologists and ordinary people going through the same issues. I can get one of them to make a film about you reporting on your experience. He is a genius. We bury Glass under the credits, so it’s not obvious you’re doing an endorsement.

WW
Okay. Alright, but I’m not sure that I have enough time to work on a documentary.

Krajeck
My people will do the interviews with the individuals I’ve mentioned. You’ll need to read the narration, which we can draft with you. We can green screen you into the interview sets later so it looks like you were there. Then, we can add snippets of you in a vegan cooking class, and in a candid group chat with some audience members who are vegan. Do it after your upcoming Monday show. We can write the advertisement copy for you.

WW
You think super fast! I’m just so relieved there’s a way to do this.

Krajeck
That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? We will need to take over your after-work life this week. You’ll need to postpone everything on your schedule that’s not strictly show related, and delegate everything but the essentials. We will invite some nutritionists to your home for lunch or dinner and shoot footage. We need new head shots of you.

WW
Okay. Are you thinking I’ll need to change my look?

Krajeck
In terms of fashion, you’re on cue. We don’t want you looking age appropriate. But we might want to tone down on a few things, so you’re more natural looking. A braided chignon, bring down your hemlines and heel heights a bit, maybe some ballet flats, leather and copper accessories over gold and silver. We’ll have to redefine your color palette and bring in a new team of stylists. Women stylists. Male stylists dress you the way they see women: As making too much of an effort. You need to dress the way women see themselves.

WW
I hear a … Okay. I can manage that.

Krajeck
A correspondent’s job is active. You’ll need to be robust, because there’s going to be a lot of literally walking around and talking to people of all ages, from all walks of life. They all need to be able to relate to you. If you look untouchable, that will destroy your chemistry with people.

WW
Alright.

Krajeck
You’ll have to reduce your cup size by half of what it is now. I’m sorry but those enormous boobs make you look stupid. They’re practically under your chin. You have to get rid of them. I see the expression on your face, but rather than tell you that, CBS will not even consider your application, or they will interview you and not give you the job. If you want to make yourself into an anchor, you’ll have to deflate.

WW
I know. You’re not inappropriate. It’s just strange hearing it from outside of my head. It’s why I was hesitant to apply.

Krajeck
Your clothes, hair and makeup are the very minimum.

WW
What do you mean?

Krajeck
Do you want to be a CBS anchorwoman?

WW
Let us say I do the reduction.

Krajeck
You would need to do it right away.

WW
There’s no guarantee I’ll get the job.

Krajeck
Let’s examine your motives, first of all. If you’re going for an anchor position for the money, it’s a bad idea.The sacrifices are too great.

WW
At this stage, for me, it’s the prestige. I get the feeling that a woman who is fifty something needs a more uplifting occupation than gossiping about Kardashian butt implants.

Krajeck
I agree, and I’m not a conservative. So you can just imagine your average CBS viewer. At an average age of 57, you’re in a room full of your peers. They’re not looking up to you. You’ll have to give up standup shows in Vegas. You could do stage plays, and we can play up your previous appearances for your presentation. You cannot be seen in a bikini or skimpy clothing, anywhere. Delete anything problematic from your phone and media libraries. As for what is online we will scrub data for you.

WW
Thank you.

Krajeck
You will have to commit to the changes even if you get turned down. It might be a test to see how committed you are to a new career. CBS likes to play head games. They’ll build up your rival to test viewer reaction or create buzz, drop them at the last minute and shoo you in. Instant ratings spike.

WW
Wouldn’t they do that to me, then?

Krajeck
Only if you don’t deflate. Then, you’d be cannon fodder. You could use it to boost ratings for your show, but if you don’t get the anchor position, you’ll be the “woman who didn’t get the CBS job.” That’s too risky. You’ve lived a charmed life so far, young lady. This is a new level of the game. That’s why you came to a professional matador to tire out the bull. So, do you want to be a CBS anchorwoman?

WW
Yes. I’m just…breast reduction is going to hurt!

Krajeck
You’ll be fine. You have access to the best medical professionals. You might have to commute to your show from hospital with a medical team in the week after the procedure. That means, you won’t see your family at home until you’re healed. I suggest spending next week preparing. Then, in the following taping three shows in a row on the Monday and Tuesday, and take the weekend off from Wednesday. Five days post op recovery. Your Monday show will be the vegan special.

WW
That’s a lot to take on. The risk of complications, infection, and adverse reaction to anaesthesia. And they might not hire me. This is scary.

Krajeck
Endless pain for boundless gain. Thereafter, life will be less baby back ribs and more boiled chicken. Literally. You cannot change your body size once you start the job. Whatever you’re doing now diet wise, you’ll have to stick to it. Audiences react negatively to weight fluctuations.

WW
Wow. I thought this was going to be a slice of pie. I was dead wrong.

Krajeck
You may never eat a slice of pie again.

Categories
fiction women

Six Minutes

Paine
I see! So you’re not paid a salary, just shares in the company, which you sell off at intervals to raise cash.

Mari
That’s the long and short of it, yes.

Paine
And how is using the company like an ATM working for you?

Mari
I wouldn’t say it like that.

Paine
What does anyone spend twenty million dollars a month on? Take me inside your world.

Mari
Well, as you know, I support various charities and organisations.

Paine
I’m reading a statement here from PCG, the children’s charity. They say they can clothe, breakfast and lunch ten thousand children for one year with two million dollars.

Mari
Is that right?

Paine
This is one of the charities that you fully support, according to your bestselling book, And An Ugly Duckling Shall Lead Them.

Mari
Naturally, I’m not that organisation’s only source of funding and you haven’t accounted for staff transportation and all that. Administrative costs.

Paine
Five hundred thousand dollars a year. I spoke to the founder of the charity. You could basically fund this charity with a small fraction of…

Mari
Okay, alright.

Paine
…your monthly salary.

Mari
I’m a working mother who takes care of her family.

Paine
Most mothers make do on less than twenty million dollars a month. Do you remember a time when you weren’t earning a boatload of cash selling off stock on automatic trades?

Mari
I think if you allow me to finish I will say that as a working mother my duty is to my family.

Paine
This is not an answer to my question. Your husband is the founder of his own tech firm. His net worth is one billion dollars.

Mari
That’s irrelevant. My husband and I both contribute equally as providers and…

Paine
Which is why the question is pertinent. How come you fully support a charity and it hasn’t enough funding when you are withdrawing tens of millions of dollars a month on regular trades?

Mari
Obviously my financial matters are private.

Paine
They’re not.

Mari
They’re not?

Paine
Every financial transaction you make as COO is public knowledge. The SEC has regular filings from you and as it is a government agency we have access to this information under the Freedom of Information Act.

Mari
You are wrong. That’s snooping and you have no jurisdiction and no right.

Paine
You owe it to the public to show transparency in all of your financial dealings.

Mari
I’m not. You know, Ms Paine …

Paine
Carla, please.

Mari
… Carla. As a woman I expected you would …

Paine
Be on your side? Do you believe that every woman is obliged to defer to you?

Mari
Certainly, I don’t put myself above others.

Paine
Sounds like male entitlement to me.  Which is to say, you’re worthier than I because you have a higher salary.

Mari
Absolutely not!

Paine
Isn’t that why you’re here? So this news magazine can laud your achievements further on television?

Mari
That’s cynical.

Paine
Well, isn’t that what you were expecting, to some degree?

Mari
I have no such agenda.

Paine
Do you see how other women would find it hard to relate to you?

Mari
I think they can relate to me since I’m a busy working class mother with children.

Paine
Working class? Not upper class? You have household help and child caregivers. You’ve spoken publicly about this.

Mari
I’m a … I’m a worker.

Paine
Let’s talk about that. You said in 2012 that you were head hunted after you suggested to your CEO that you use “meetings to talk about meeting points”?

Mari
Yes. This move has made the company waste less time, making it more efficient. It was a fledgling startup with few disciplined, responsible college educated people managing it at the top.

Paine
With all due respect, there’s not a man or woman watching this segment who has not said “let’s focus on meeting agendas” at some point in the past. Had I known it would be that easy to run CBS, I would have applied for the job years ago.

Mari
Obviously it’s a media company and is hard to run. You can’t just waltz in and oversee operations without the proper qualifications.

Paine
Could you clarify your point?

Mari
I’m saying I’m qualified to do my job and you are qualified to do yours.

Paine
It sounded to me like you were saying I don’t have the ability to run CBS.

Mari
Well, can you?

Paine
Let me put my point to you differently. In 2013, you were quoted as saying you innovated the company’s operating processes by introducing, and I quote, “bulleted points lists instead of numbered lists for all internal and external correspondence and wall mounted digital clocks instead of relying on computer screens.” Am I to believe that you earn twenty million dollars a month to obsess about the formatting in word processed documents and supervise office decoration? Twenty million.

Mari
Obviously this is an understatement. My statement was edited to make my job look more simple than it is.

Paine
So you agree that the job is a simple one. Were you hired as sort of a frontispiece? A beard of sorts.

Mari
Excuse me? My job is a complex … I have a Harvard MBA!

Paine
We would certainly expect a Harvard educated COO to do more than correct formatting in Word or set watches and clocks.

Mari
Can we take a break? I need to talk to my, ahhh.

Paine
Your publicist.

Mari
Can you stop the tape, please?

Paine
My boss at CBS gave me carte blanche here so that’s not going to happen.

Mari
I want to have a private conversation.

Paine
You agreed to an interview. You signed a contract.

Mari
And I’m saying I take offence to being bullied in this way by you, Carla.

Paine
Actually, it’s doctor Paine. I have a Cambridge PhD.