Tag: 40

Jupiter
Make sure to hold down the home button.

N
Why are you ugly, green pepper faced fifty seven year old woman, hanging on this beautiful man?! What is special about you?! Disappear, and be gone!

Siri
That service is not available.

N
You have no attractive point!!!

Jupiter
Is this a new photo?

N
Yes. You can’t be photographed from the front …

Jupiter
Make sure to take a screen shot. Activate Siri first, and then talk to the photo, pay attention to the wave. When it stops, tap the mike icon again.

N
Okay, got it. You can’t be photographed from the front, you can only do a side by profile! You so ugly, I can’t stand your fat pig face!!! Why did you tell him you need five more years to divorce your husband? You’re married, and you have children and grandchildren. How can ugly woman like you get married to someone in the first place? Why can you force control unmarried man?!

Siri
There are no search results for Marie Dorothy.

N
Why is he loyal to you? You are bread faced girl. You are slice bread. If you stand in front of some grapes, someone mistake you for dried up onion.

Siri
I searched Wikipedia and this is what I found.

N
I cannot lose my mind to this slice of mackerel. This is not right!

Siri
Mackerel slices were found in these locations in Hell’s Kitchen.

Jupiter
How do you feel? You want to go some more?

N
I’m tired. I’m busy. I want to stop this and enjoy my life. I want to just forget the two of them. They disgust me. That doctor is dirty. His aura just makes my apartment dirty. You stinky old pervert! Shut up dammit. You know, he has no fashion sense. And that blonde hard wax hairstyle is crazy. He runs a hospital but needs to take drugs to wake up, stay up, go sleep, get up, get down. What the hell is he thinking dressing like circus?

Jupiter
What are you going to do about him?

N
I’m going to use him for money. He’s useless. Did you see this eighty dollar Pandora bracelet he bought for me? He never buys me anything cost over one hundred dollars. I’m forty years old. What is he thinking I am going to do with that?

Jupiter
Did you let him know you were worth more than that?

N
He’s just useless that way. And obviously, I am not going to tell J about him. J is for love. The doctor is for money. Only. But do you know what irritates me? J is such an amazing man. He’s talented in business, has a flawless aesthetic sense. He’s a model at sixty for goodness sake.

Jupiter
Okay. Just go with the music and let that out.

N
This is J’s island near Bali. He’s got river rafts and thirty staff. How does that man make himself so small for that pancake faced ghoul?!

Jupiter
Have you considered that he might just be a model, a stock figure with no real power in the relationship?

N
Yeah, I mean, no, it’s his business.

Jupiter
So why is it that he cannot simply cut ties with his business partner and as her lover?

N
And then there’s the … I can’t really understand him. It seems meaningless that she can say to him, “Don’t talk to her and block her phone number,” and he will just do as she asked. She controls him financially.

Jupiter
Perhaps there is another explanation that you haven’t thought of.

N
I think so, and I need to find it or else these feelings will not go away. He’s the first man I told “I love you”.

Jupiter
Not even your ex husband?

N
Not even him.

Jupiter
Alright. Do you want to shout some more?

N
No, I’m tired. I’m going to be friends with him. I don’t love him anymore. I don’t give a damn.