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Shame-free Romance (PG 16+)

Pretend to misread information provided in the situation and lob very pointed and penetrating questions at your rival.

 German Cornejo and Gisela Galeassi doing the tango
Photo courtesy Chigirev

If romance were like sports, winning would be easy. A game has rules and a clear winner. But as Grace Dent elegantly states it, “real love with actual humans can be an arduous task.” That is why, if you’re bashful, like me, you will be appalled by the idea of approaching a person and saying, “Please, like me, please.” It seems pushy and even rude but lots of men and women do this with no fear whatsoever. I wondered if I was missing out.

Over dinner, a friend helpfully suggested that I try to be bouncy. I thought she meant I was to change into a thigh-split dress and hurl myself from a moving car.

 Rebecca Ferguson in Rogue Nation
Photo courtesy Business Insider

I liked the idea, as it is a subtle way of asking to be introduced. Until another friend explained that she meant I should mislead witnesses with a padded bra.

While my friends discussed these details, I recalled three attention-grabbing techniques favoured by women Glampions. I’ve seen these tactics in sports: The Wedge, the Lob and the Shirt Pull. They are 100% shame free.

Wedge | When a woman is talking to a man you want like, wedge yourself into the conversation with a tango style pasada, and body block. Slowly caress his thigh with your thigh, à la Gisela.

 Lonestar Rollergirls, Photo courtesy Wikipedia

Lobbing | Pretend to misunderstand information.  Lob a series of pointed and penetrating statements at your rival’s pride. For example, Fantastic Bachelor says, “Ai, you look lovely this evening.” Ai says, “Sorry I’m late. I stopped for gas.” You respond, “Oh, no! Go home and get over your case of bad gas, that’s happening right now, at this moment. Remember? You mentioned it in la toilette yesterday!” Keep at it until she evaporates.

Caroline Wozniacki at the US Open
Photo courtesy Fansided

Shirt pulling | Pull up your shirt and expose your tummy, on which you’ve scribbled your phone number. This may cause Fantastic Bachelor’s brain to short circuit. If it does, he will text you over and over until he passes out.

 Photo: London 2012 Olympics

All right. I’m not sure I’ll ever be 100% shame free. But the tango looks enticing. It is a contact sport and it has a very dressy uniform.


Life is short, so let’s be decent.

57 replies on “Shame-free Romance (PG 16+)”

lmao. This is quite timely as I am rebuilding my support networks and social circles. I’m usually bold on the first try in making new connections f2f (which brings a lot more rejection than savoring the quiet) . My thinking is- you don’t know me and I don’t know you. It’s the second and third whirl around that I start getting shy. Go figure. Missed you~

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I know, right. I have a washboard chest. No wonder I misunderstood. Released a few Krakens from my vault in one fell swoop today. The story about London 1953 was actually written for you. I am not sure if you sawrit. I hope you like that one.

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I noticed your other posts but thought I’d come back when not distracted as I was at the time. The vault has opened hey? Let’s see what else tumbles out 😊 I am really touched that you’d write for ne. Thanks SB xx

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