The actuary’s gaunt face presented harshly against the hush of apprehension that gripped the room. The Empress veiled herself with a blank expression. When no one was looking, she released a slow eye roll.
Etiquette dictated that she not show scorn or deference. Today was particularly challenging. On the eve of expansion, the actuary stopped to raise a challenge. He had discovered two spots on a six inch map. The surveyors looked confused. But they quietly agreed that this was a democracy, and let him have his say.
Trailing off the table were yards of hemp scroll. Empress Tikki wanted to wrap it around his neck. “One more passage and then we’re whole, one last signing is the end I’m told…”
Shadowed by nervous ministers, the actuary started clearing his throat. The metallic timbre induced, in the Empress, a maddening primal scream. “Be impermanent in this please, do not drag it out another note…”
♫ Gffmh-gmffh gffmh-gmffmh gffmh-gmffh fhmm
hmmfh fmmgh fhmm hmmfh gffmh-hhhmm ♫
“Pray the deities, restore my soul,” muttered the Empress, “we are held hostage by a mating goat.” She flashed a smile to restore decorum. The actuary had until sunrise to interrogate the two moth stains.
♛
Empress Tikki | SB
Photo credit: SHXPIR for Harper’s Bazaar China, 2014. Musical inspiration: Habanera from Carmen by Georges Bizet.
88 replies on “Empress Tikki”
You display great wit and humor and enjoy making a mockery for the unnecessary need of formal engagement. The reader can look at the picture and think to themselves that her only thoughts are, “blah, blah, blah” “let’s get to the point!” A very clever AND entertaining post.
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Thank you so much for reading this story. We want to think of our time as spent productively, so it was a relief to know that quite a few people could relate.
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As always, a literary master piece SB 😀
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Thank you, GH. Best of luck at work tomorrow with Electrical Lord.
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Thanks! Sigh….
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You described bosses from my past perfectly… Lots of eye rolls and very un-chaplain-like comments from this Padre under his breath… But I love the fact that you had fun with this!
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Padre Michael, thank you so much. We are all family after all that, so it is best to keep the tension to a minimum. Humour is a very good solution for me. xo
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Me too!
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