Categories
fiction People

Hitmen

Abyss Brain
This meeting will now convene. First on the hit list is Mrs McLeod. Rob?

Rob
Thank you. The request to cancel Mrs McLeod came to my attention from a neighbour who is allergic to E. She complained about Mrs McLeod’s cello playing after 21 o’clock on week nights.

Abyss Brain
Questions?

HB
May I? What are the decibel measurements of each practice session?

Rob
Thank you for these questions, H. Well, the neighbour said the sound of E flat on the cello was annoying.

Jarrod C
Pardon me. For section D-17 of the Cancel Request Form, the distance travelled must not exceed 40 km from base. Google Maps says your home base is exactly 41.2 km away from the target. Also, you did not clearly describe your disposal method at C-5 or equipment at C-8 on the form.

Rob
Yahoo Maps disagrees by 3 km. And “throw her under the bus” seems clear to me.

Abyss Brain
Keep calm and let’s vote, please. All in favour of cancelling Mrs McLeod … 1, 2, 3… All against … 4, 5, 6… Abstaining… 7, 8, 9… We’re in a standoff.

Matt
May I? We should have a playoff. Mrs McLeod versus one of us?

Abyss Brain
Ruth Ann, you abstained. You’re up. Rob? You and V Publica will pick up the target 13 hours prior to the recital.

Rob
Not a problem. I have a pair of sequin shorts that will stun her.

Abyss Brain
All in favour…  Unanimous. Good. We reconvene in 14 hours. Now, let us move on to the next target.

++

Practice session, a few hours later

Bach Prelude from Suite I
Performed by Ruth Ann Scanzillo

By ΠιCΘLΞ

Life is short, so let’s be decent.

84 replies on “Hitmen”

Ha! Famous last words. I am flattered by your interest but I’ve never been so cruel as to force anyone to read it. I hope you feel better soon.

Like

By Post Author

Thanks, RAS. You know, Rob and I had a conversation about the sequin shorts that would make your eye pop. He wouldn’t need to execute me, just wear them. People don’t understand how bashful I am. I’m glad you liked the presentation.

Liked by 1 person

By Post Author

Okay, good. I certainly shall. V-Pub, I cannot seem to find your comment option button at your site; can you help? Thank you! Ogden Fahey….same! (When I click on individual paintings they, of course, enlarge…but, I scroll around, and still see no Comment buttons? I take full responsibility for missing what is obvious to the rest of the world, but such admissions never seem to help me navigate…….arrgh. Thank you! RAS littlebarefeetblog.com

Liked by 1 person

Haha, I really like to keep time.

And finally, there’s now a good use for the “allergic to E challenge” which I dubbed as a floccinaucinihilipilification. 🙂

Liked by 1 person

See? I know you so well, AB. I am still trying to see your new word and after it hits my retina, I will now try a new trick: pronouncing it. Thank you for being totally awesome!

Liked by 1 person

By Post Author

I see that now and I’m sure RAS will appreciate getting a pass for her extra multi syllabic prefix. Still trying to make its way to my retina. Have a great Monday. x

Liked by 1 person

By Post Author

I enjoy the indigestion part, actually. It tells me if the performer has his/her act together. I love live recitals for that reason. I missed one in June and received sympathy cards a few days later. Apparently someone said, “she must have been seriously unwell to miss her favourite violist.” And here I was thinking that no plunging necklines (mostly chest) to distract the players was a welcome change.

Liked by 1 person

By Post Author

No… Matt, you’re so nice, that’s why I wrote you in there. I knew you’d give me a chance. RAS is super talented so there’s no way I’d win. Thank you. x

Liked by 1 person

By Post Author

Not super talented, okay? Super terrible enough for the world’s most talented team of hitmen to come get me. After which, Matt will throw me in the pool.

Like

By Post Author

That’s not a bad idea because cellos like humidity. However, as for the players, it will be over for me once the chlorine hits my mucous membranes. I hope your Sunday was good.

Liked by 1 person

By Post Author

I’ll pick up the subject exactly 13 hours prior to the recital. Let’s synchronize our watches. By the way, are you sure the shorts aren’t too distracting?

Liked by 1 person

People are not inclined to say that to me, especially after reading a few tidbit posts. But thank you! 💗💗💗

Liked by 1 person

I do appreciate your flattering words, Sabiscuit. I’m simply humbled that I’ve managed to meet wonderful, wonderful people – like you – while having so much fun blogging.

Liked by 1 person

Haven’t seen what? 😀 The comment option should be at the bottom of each post. Let me know if it’s not there, please?

Rob

Liked by 3 people

Comments are closed.