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Notes 5/3

There are no rules for blogging and I bear this in mind when visiting blogs. Even though I understand and respect this difference, I need to get something off my chest, so please bear with me. Basically, these notes highlight some things bloggers do to lose readers and alienate supporters.

After printing, reading and rereading (as well as completing an abstract painting inspired by) a lengthy fiction story, the author has not responded to my comment. It’s still sitting there on his blog. I had to defend myself the last time someone got on my case about no feedback. As you can imagine, this is a really frustrating situation to be in. I can’t win, no matter what I do.

One aspect of hygiene I’d hinted at was that at times, authors and supporters might feel that a reader’s attention is romantically motivated.


If I visit a blog, do I want to make out with the author and do stuff, provided they’re over the age of 21, even though we’ve never met in person, have never spent any quality time together and I only know them as aliases? Go ahead, ask me.

But let me comment on the sense making of having a public blog, with tags that are visible in reader, leaving the comments open and like buttons active, expecting people to read, being proud of our work and mislabeling support. If someone supports us, there is no need to rush down what I call the fantasy rabbit hole.

The blogs affected by fantasy rabbit activity have a comparatively low subscriber count; low support per post compared to other bloggers with the same subscriber count; and limited variety in reader interactions. In other words, it is natural that bloggers will avoid hostility. Common sense, you say.


Prude close up
… support from “bras” (as opposed to “bros”) from Prude.

But don’t take my word for it, please experience Interview with Demandire yourself while getting ready for work on a Saturday morning.  What is gained, in actual fact? Approval: One like per him, per post, if he remembers.

Here’s one more way to chase readers from a blog with interesting content, decrease peer support and reduce interactivity. Once, a blogger warned me about his wife because I typed xo at the end of a comment. Misunderstandings are common, but that was taking it a bit too far. I did NOT want to sloppy wet x and o him while moaning.

Another example? I read posts before and after publishing and imagine what readers might think I am saying. Otherwise, if I don’t know what I said, when responding to a comment, I might sound like Tarzan:

Tarzan 2

To me, every reader’s eyeball on my Gravatar is a 25 carat conflict free pink diamond, offered with no strings attached. Continued support is the polished stone, set in white gold.

At this point, I ask myself: What would a professional do?

By ΠιCΘLΞ

Life is short, so let’s be decent.

137 replies on “Notes 5/3”

Fun post. While we’re griping, let me gripe about film producers who ask you to review their film and say they are going to send you the DVD afterward but you should watch it first at a special online site for reviewers. So you watch, telling them you can’t accept their DVD (“but we insist!”), do a thoughtful review, and never hear anything from them.

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That is quite annoying and that’s why I only do that as a favour to friends. I think it is really nice that you can get to watch free movies. At least, I’m hoping you were asked to review blockbuster films like Star Trek or Mission Impossible. xo

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Gawwd, I know, right? “Hey, I’m not tryinna holla.” Thank you for those French kisses. The “good in bed” one was really funny. I am tempted to make a post about it. Would be good for a group presentation. Some people would not get the joke, which is amusing. xoxoxoxo

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I found this interesting.

The internet is weird now… Or maybe it always was weird… I do know that intentions over the internet can easily be misconceived as something you didn’t intend. I am VERY sarcastic and tell a lot of jokes in real life, and often times I write something without thinking about it. 95% of the time, the internet misses that my obvious sarcasm joke was sarcasm… so I guess it wasn’t so obvious.

Having said that, I can see how compliments can be taken as flirtatious and support can be taken that the person is reaching out to start a deeper relationship.

For the latter, I think this has to deal with people being lonely in the real world and looking for a way to connect with someone else, so the moment they see someone that is interested in their work, they go out of their way to try to keep that connection. Thus, sparking an awkward romantic scenario that was never supposed to happen.

Social media has connected us with thousands of people around the world, but now more than ever, we’re more disconnected from one another emotionally than we’ve ever been before.

People in the real world walk around with their heads stuck in their cellphones, talking to a bunch of people on the internet and ignoring the ones right in front of them. It creates a lonely isolated feeling, which also creates a feeling of wanting to connect.

As a result, something that was just common courtesy and politeness 20 years ago, is now looked at being something special and romantic today… :/

Literally, just about an hour ago I walked into my apartment complex and my neighbor was standing in the hall waiting for her family to unlock the door for her, I had to pass her to get up the stairs, and she didn’t bother looking up or speaking, her head was bent downwards as she stared at her phone. Just to be polite, I spoke up and said Hi, and only then did she look up to respond with a greeting of her own, then quickly went right back to her phone. Otherwise, we would have passed and never made eye contact or spoke a single word.

She’s been living next door now for about 4-5 months, and today was the first time we’ve made eye contact and actually spoke to each other. It is now easier to talk to the stranger on the internet than the neighbor that lives right next door…

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Such wonderful commentary and thank you. I think it is natural to feel connected to people through their work. However, when people take the support as an appeal for romantic connection and react NEGATIVELY to that imagined appeal, is where I had to speak up.

I agree though, that it is easier to show my art work to strangers (at exhibitions or online) than it is to show them to friends. Most of my friends don’t like abstract art or care much for poetry. However, I spend a lot of my down time writing, reading, painting, or planning new art work. A blog helps me to collate all of those activities and meet people of like mind. I like to think of them as friends, in a virtual sense.

Sure, I would like to connect with people in an emotional way but I do that through respect and admiration.

Incidentally, I have only now realised that quite a few people are still using their blogs as a kind of dating site and in their minds, people who browse want to be picked up. What’s unfair is that they don’t say that to the people reading. They just assume that everyone else is up to the same thing. So, imagine you’re going, “Oh, this looks nice!” and hearing, “Sorry, but I’m not interested in you.” Like, really? Of course I was going to throw a tantrum on my blog.

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Let’s blame Tinder and the other online dating apps for encouraging that, aha. A literal sense of “looking for love in all the wrong places”. Who would have thought that art, poetry and photography sites would be used as hookup sites as well?

When I was younger I didn’t like showing my art and work to family and friends in fear of being judged or critiqued for my work (I just liked to work and show without getting feedback to learn on my own terms), now I don’t really give a fudge.

It is hard trying to find like-minded people though, people that you can relate to and be friends with that shares the same interests to support you.

So now I just friend/follow a bunch of randoms, then weed through the ones I don’t like until I find a community I enjoy interacting with that shares my same interests (they are far and few though).

It sucks that you have to choose your words carefully now so that your intentions aren’t misunderstood. I see what you’re saying though, it makes sense. Valid angry rant is valid. {u_u}

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hahaha this is so great! I don’t have much experience talking to people online so it’s good to know the type of perceptions people have so I can avoid misunderstandings. Though I don’t mind awkward situations lol. I just hope I don’t insult someone by accident. Clarifying is always good.

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Hello Anon. Thanks for commenting. I posted this last year, in June, but this is an ongoing issue and I wanted to make sure I was not misunderstood. You’re a pretty straightforward person. I find you easy to talk with because you say what you mean. But some people are accustomed to communicating in metaphors. Like, if you follow their blog, they’ll think you’re trying to have their babies or something. That level of deluded behaviour is what I’m talking about. Just be aware that certain types exist and keep your thoughts pure and you will be fine.

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haha no problem! Thanks for the advice. Yeah, I’ve encountered people who are like that. Not to the extent that you have mentioned (yet) but I guess I’ll see. haha Maybe I’ll refer them to your blog post if you don’t mind and it doesn’t cause you any stress lol.

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You have absolutely right about politeness. I had situation where a guy was spamming my blog with comments not related with posts, and called me with nickname he created for me. It was unbearable and he did not realize that he did something wrong. I like your open minded view. Welcome at my blog always.

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Kristina, thank you so much for your kind invitation. I accept, wholeheartedly. It is unfortunate that this person has been bothering you. Please don’t answer him and delete his comments if they are creepy. That is how I have managed to stay spam free. Negative reinforcement. I am very playful and affectionate and in person it translates as harmless fun. Online, I’m quite bland in comparison so it is a shock to me when people feel that my attention to their blog is a come-on. Warm hugs for Friday.

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You welcome Sabiscuit. I replied that guy that his behavior is not professional and he did not appeared anymore. Some people don’t understand how to act at blog. Blogging is not chatting. Some learn on harder way. Also i wish you great Friday.

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Thanks so much, HC. That (xo) was embarrassing, to say the least. Now, I’m very careful about using it. At least I get to xoxoxoxo with you in public. Makes up for it.

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Thank you, DimDaze. I just wanted to point out that a random blogger here or there did not get on my nerves. Rather, this bothers me when it comes from those with whom I’ve already established a rapport. Thank you for reading and I hope you feel better after last week’s events.

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Oh dear lord. Are you serious?
Loving how you construct your rant, then throw it out into the ether like a brick. Hope it hit those concerned smack in the ass.
xoxoxoxoxox

Note: Above kisses represent super-sloppy wet ones, which one of these days I will demand. And possibly film. 😉

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I had a loud laugh reading this. I’m very kissy and affectionate. Thank you for your support. You’ve captured exactly what I did: I had a three week buildup to this day an I feel quite confident it hit those concerned. There’s a whole group involved, which is why I needed one rant to bind them all. I love making out with my readers, though. Such fun. x

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Hiya again. I noticed the typo the first time it came in and fixed it right after it came through. I’m surprised to see it was still there. Sorry about that. I fixed it for good now.

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[…] Notes 5/3 by Sabiscuit – This post is about some principles and manners when interacting with people on blogs. These are some great reminders and ideas, and also bring to mind the concept of desiring popularity and recognition. It’s easy to get your self worth caught up in your number of views / likes / comments on your blog, and when this happens we can take some selfish and sometimes offensive actions. This is a great reminder to treat people well even online, and to appreciate any feedback or interactions you do have rather than being caught up in only trying to get more. […]

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I really appreciate your thoughtfulness and straightforwardness in what and how you write. This, in addition to raising some great points about “hygiene” in interacting with people in a forum like this, it also makes me think about art, the purpose behind it, the expectations around it, and the difference between art and artless production. Some artists receive wonderful accolades, recognition and rewards for their work during their lifetime or active career. Others receive only marginal notice during their lifetimes.

Recognition and feedback are wonderful, and can truly fuel one on when the creative work becomes difficult, but it doesn’t always come – or, as you have experienced, some strange and negative feedback occurs,

These are things worth exploring more, I think, and I want to thank you for your art that’s both enjoyable and inspiring.

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Thank you very much, Matt. I appreciate your thoughtful words. It is true that recognition is hard to come by and an artist almost has to be in the right place at the right time to get favourable, explosive recognition. Thankfully, I’m doing this for myself and not to get somewhere or make a profit. I think that is why I don’t feel so much pressure to have all of that “stuff.” There is room for everyone and as you’ve said before, everyone’s success helps us. Have a great week. x

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Wait a minute…we aren’t in a relationship? I thought we had something special. Was I wrong? 🙂 haha

I read your 4/3 notes article because it was referenced here. After reading it, I thought of the many very long comment conversations we have had! LOL

I was also reading this article hoping my name wouldn’t pop up anywhere! Whew! Thank goodness! I’ve been a good boy apparently! 🙂

On a more serious note, I haven’t had a lot of the issues that are discussed in this article and through the comments. It sounds like you have unfortunately dealt with a lot of drama and I’m sorry. It seems high-schoolish to me. Fake likes? I don’t know what that even means. I’ve said my peace about a lot of this material so I won’t rehash but people need to get over themselves. If you want new subscribers, post insightful and thought-provoking materials, encourage comments, and respond accordingly.

People take themselves way too seriously especially on the internet. My message to everyone causing problems: Get over it. I got over you a long time ago. Stop whining, spend more time writing, and treat others with respect.

You are always welcome on my blog Sabiscuit! You are the best! *MUAH* (oh wait) xoxo (oh wait) hmm…handshake? 🙂

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I want all of those from the end of your comment, thank you. I’m happy to be welcome among friends.

Thank you for reading the article referenced. The issue was also with a subscriber. I am sure he hasn’t seen it because he “sometimes” reads my blog (code for never). That is okay for me, and in fact, I leave at least 24 hours between posts (I try for more but stuff happens) so that readers who don’t read frequently can catch up. That kind of feedback is useful to me. If only he had chosen a more productive method of getting what he wanted: “Asking”.

It’s true that people are so completely up themselves, even a compliment can trigger an attempt at hazing by people who use swear words on other people’s blogs. What subscriber reads my blog and imagines they’ll get away with bothering me while I’m on my way to work on a Saturday morning, is just hilarious to me. I’m still 3000 words out of precious time, but it was a nice story. No haaaaahhhhaaaaapeeee treeees. MUAH back. Hugs. x o x o. High fives, hotness.

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In my “About” section, I ask that people please try to keep it clean but if someone doesn’t, I won’t delete the comment. I will only delete it if it has zero relevancy to the topic or is spam. I feel everyone is entitled to their opinion, even if I don’t agree with it. And if you are going to do something to make yourself look like an ass, being you already drew the rope, I will just let you hang yourself.

Just don’t let people get to you. Remember that while real friendships can occur here, the internet is mainly a fantasy world. I wouldn’t say anything here on the internet I wouldn’t say to anyone’s face in real life but a lot of people don’t take that approach.

It is obvious you are very secure in yourself. Just remember that if you are secure in something, you don’t have to fight to protect it – you know it is the truth.

Most of the problems you have described from your encounters with people here on WordPress – they are writing for all the wrong reasons. If these bloggers are really worried about subscribers, comments, and likes then you don’t have a clue what writing is about. Similarly to “Field of Dreams” (If you build it, they will come) if you write quality material people will read it.

Be well my friend. Hope you are continuing to get back on your feet from feeling ill. xoxo 🙂

Also, P.S. I am not married so I am not worried about my wife seeing the hugs and kisses so send away! haha 🙂

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xoxoxoxox oxoxo xoxoxo xoxoxo
Thank you so much Jarrod. I feel a lot better, thank you. I am also feeling a lot more reassured by your words that people are blogging for the wrong reason. You’re right. Becoming the new reality star isn’t the point but it is a virtual world and people can be more important on it. Have a great evening’s rest until we catch up. x

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I think you knocked me to the floor with all those hugs and kisses! LOL

You know what you are doing here. You have a large following and are well received. Just remember that sometimes newbies and those who don’t know what they are doing will try to use a popular blog as a springboard. I think sometimes (again I note SOMETIMES) people use the awards for that reason as well as leaving crazy comments. Like a petulant child, any attention is good whether it be for the right or wrong reason.

Have a great evening as well. Don’t sweat my pet over the small stuff! 🙂

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HAHA! I actually really did “laugh out loud” at that comment!

I actually made that joke to a good friend last night before we went out to dinner. When I met him and his wife there, he asked me where the Stephanies were.

Also, if your name is Stephanie I might actually fall out of my seat! LOL

Sam Jones says hello and “Death to Ming!”

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My name is not Stephanie, but I might change it to make you have a severe laughing spell. I actually thought Ming was kind of cool. What is it about me and villians. They’re so funny. x

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Does that mean I ought to rescind my rock star compliment? (Prob’ly not. Deep down, I think we all have a rock-star-type hankering. Congratulations on your arrival.) 🙂

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That soccer fan needs a dentist ASAP (I’m sorry, I’m a doctor, I notice such things). I don’t know why Taylor Swift is such a controversial figure, her songs are ok, I don’t know much else about her.

People imagine you moaning x-es at them I can readily believe. Most switches have only two positions, sad fact but true. People don’t respond to comments, and it’s a mystery to me too. Here is someone who’s taken out time from his/her busy life to read what you’ve written and provided some feedback, why wouldn’t you respond?

People are Detective Tracys. I’ve had the similar experiences. I keep a tab open only for WordPress posts on depression and whenever I read one from a person in obvious pain i try to reach out. I try and give them support, tell them I’m in the same boat, share myself.

Some of those I reach out to are thankful and appreciate the effort, many read what I write and go “meh”. I don’t know…..OK this comment in on the verge of becoming a post in its own right!

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This comment should be a post. I think we’re all affected by it even if just slightly puzzled as to what is going on. I can tell you it’s confusing because it’s really simple. I hid likes and disabled comments on a collage post last Monday because I wasn’t asking a question. It wasn’t for everyone but for a specific group of people. I didn’t want anyone unwittingly slagging off their friends.

I think that people aren’t being honest about what they want: mega success with people fawning over them, paparazzi chasing them in cars. I have been in your shoes. One woman who started a brand new blog to celebrate moving into a new house with her boyfriend demanded that I follow her and find out after just one introductory post. Exsqueeze me! I’m also positive she hasn’t been over here.

I call it the haughty culture. “I think I’m important, therefore you’re not.” No atmospheric readings necessary.

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I enjoyed this. My favorite discovery of blogging was that through repeated interactions– quality not quantity perhaps– you can actually get to know a person, or at least that part of them that reached the point wherein it couldn’t any longer go through life without being expressed, and maybe that is as much or more real than any of the other parts? I also find it interesting to be able to dialogue with people whose faces I don’t know, whose body shapes I don’t know, whose style and fashion I don’t know, and occasionally whose gender I don’t even know… Doesn’t matter… There is still something essential that emerges… At times, it can have a purity to it that other interactions may not. Am I making sense?

Michael

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You are making a lot of sense. That is what’s wonderful about being a human being. We have chemicals coursing through our veins and synapses linking histories to create new realities. Turning that into some safari type game where the hunted get to choose the hunters really belittles the beauty of everything we create. Of course, I could just ignore these people, but sadly, some of this nonsense comes from subscribers. x

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Thank you for the shout-out SB! I am both grateful and humbled by your support. I appreciate your refreshing candor here, and am always amazed at how incredibly original you are in expressing yourself. Don’t waste that precious sensitivity of yours another minute on someone who doesn’t appreciate it, okay? You have way too much to give to others who do!

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Hello, Hotness. Thank you so much, Victoria’s Secret Angel, NK. I’ll whip out my Nurse Kelly doll and threaten them with it next time. Pop and lock and have a great, steamy Sunday. x

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Yep. I saw the Zoolander reference here with the “Pop and Lock.” Looks like you are feeling better and got your edge back.

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You’re lovely Wild Cat. Pre Mondays are cured with decadent desserts. In your case they’d be just, considering your warm support this past week. Best wishes.

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For me, feedback is very important. I may think that my posts are good but if I don’t hear the same thing from my readers, then I can’t really have a confirmation from others’ perspectives that my posts are good. So, I would definitely reply to comments whether the feedback is positive or negative.

Besides, I find that many bloggers on WordPress are pretty cordial, so I’m sure that you wouldn’t receive as much as rude comments here than on other sites.

Anyway, the belief that a reader’s interest is romantically motivated is just plain ridiculous and if it’s really the case (which I’m sure that it really happens, considering how weird some people on the web can be), then they (those readers) have to get a life, it’s for their own good.

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Thank you, AB. Feedback can do lots of things, like confirm you’re on the right track (even negative comments can be enriching). There is a science to attraction and people don’t realise it is at work in their blog templates, puns and food selfies. These things are done to attract admiration. It’s silly to feel threatened by a laptop or tablet screen because in actual physical fact, that is all we are staring at. This post was queued two weeks ago and I’ve still not been acknowledged by the author of the story, which was lovely. The princess in it was the muse for my most recent painting. I alluded to the communication problem in the note. It’s a waste of spotlight. However, these things cannot be helped.

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It’s a shame that some bloggers who produce excellent contents seem to not be interested at responding to feedback (while having their blogs’ comments enabled). In my opinion, they should be proud of themselves that somebody cared for their works enough to comment on them.

Ironically, those bloggers would on occassion rant about low readership and low readers’ interests on their works…

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Ha ha ha. Exactly my reaction when I see that stuff. I had to say as much to a subscriber two weeks ago. He was angry about two likes for a post. I told him please reach out to your readers and they’ll be encouraged to … He approved the comment but did not respond to it. Crtl alt deletiquette. He was never a well mannered human in the first place!

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Just one week ago, I saw a post from a former subscriber ranting about “fake likes”, low level of interaction on WP and all that. So, I commented that he should reach out to other bloggers to further increase his readers and I told him that it’s not unusual that sometimes, the number of likes is larger than the view count which may be due to the fact that the views from WP readers are not counted for some reason.

He replied rudely by remarking something like, how would I know that anyway… Then he also accused me of only just liking his posts without reading them and he finally said that he would “unfollow” my blog.

Well, I simply replied that his presumption is foolish since I do not “like” any post without reading them. And since he told me that he would unfollow me, I concluded my comment with, “Alright, then goodbye and happy blogging”

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What an awful person. It’s unfortunate that this happened to you, but thank you for sharing it, because sometimes I feel it’s a no win situation. And to think that you appreciated his posts even though he’s acted like an ignorant jerk.

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Yes, his action neither benefit him nor me.

His posts are actually quite good but similar to my post earlier about the mathematician Cauchy, his brilliance sadly doesn’t reflect on his personality… the only difference is that Cauchy is a lot more intelligent than him.

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That’s the problem with the crossing over of cultures from Twitter/Instagram to a blog. The expectations vary and people don’t really know how to navigate so they throw tantrums instead.

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Noobs are much worse than nobodies, trust me. Newbies are ok, since they are those who are willing to learn.

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You make great points, Sabiscuit. I find your blog to be honest and open. I consider myself a newbie in this blogging world, but a newbie as AB puts it “willing to learn”. I’m learning that interactions with other bloggers/readers is important, mostly for inspiration and sharing thoughts/ideas.

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Thank you very much for your support. I’m new, too but blogging is pretty straightforward compared to the communication part. For my part, I’m glad I’ve persisted with talking to people who didn’t seem friendly at first because those people are the ones who will hang in there with you. We have to show people they’re valuable to us and then allow them to respond in their own way. This post is here because I can’t keep things in or let things go until I have chucked it all out there. This has been a tremendous experience for me. Thank you for reading.

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Actually, he felt that other bloggers just “like” his posts without reading them and he kept on ranting that those likes are “fake”.

I heard that you can purchase likes for sites like FB and Youtube. That’s the definition of fake likes…

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I am aware of that gig. One of my posts was bombarded with robot comments (looked really convincing) last week. They told me how wonderful and special and amazing I was. Twenty different times. Who is to blame? No one. Aksimet put them in spam where they belonged and I trashed them. I wonder if that subscriber would have cleared and responded to them, as they would certainly be telling him what he really wants to hear. x

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Those spammers usually give generic comments anyway since they just employ those stupid bots. Though from time to time, those spammers will do the dirty work themselves which would make the comments very convincing.

At one time, I received a comment that talked about how awesome my math articles are and many more specific compliments.

When I responded to it, I suddenly receive so many comments about SEO crap…

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I hate SEO spam. They were so all over me when I started my blog in October last year. I don’t even read that stuff anymore and I also love breaking all their stupid little rules. x

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It’s great that search engines are now heavily penalizing those sites that use blackhat SEO. That serves them right.

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You should have seen those people who continuously bitch about it on forums when those anti blackhat SEO algorithms were implemented. It’s quite funny…

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I bet they are the same people do not believe in answering comments as they are too important and busy working on being SEO stars to prove how great they are. So sad.

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I am not a pop fan and I cannot deal with her fakery sometimes, but I have read about her and how she harnesses the full potential of her fan base by including them in the delivery of albums, etc. That is something to respect. If she’s got a good team guiding her and she herself is smart enough to take their advice, then more power to them. But yes, paranoia is a problem. x

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