Derelict
and dark as dawn
there sleeps Narcissus
wrapped up in flor
In that greener garden
were Venus rests
Piaget found us
romping with Faun
Hypnosis
cloaked in silky feathers
bound tightly did she
his powder dreams
in her life long tethers
We feel his screams
and harken
In silence we uproar
No, not again
Maximum dolōr
II
As icy ponds
where pelts the rain
how crushed we are
to hear his pain
May marvels end
no subtle cue
or she’ll come here
to look for you
Here Vera grins
in peace she reigns
on wine filled sacks
o’er toasted grain
Lovingly
she beams
but silver tears will flow
and while Narcissus sleeps
her music belts
the streams
as they go
19 replies on “Maximum Dolōr”
I like the poem written on the picture with the words emerging and disappearing into the image. Like coming out of sleep.
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Thank you so much, Graham. I was fortunate it all fit on one page. I’m really glad it suits your taste. xo
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I love your poetry! The flow is always so lulling.
The language here reminds me of the thoughts we have after waking up from a deep sleep. The disconnected recollections of our dreams, the way we try to tie the fragments together in a bleary haze. The imagery is beautiful and I love all the mythological references.
Why did you choose to use Narcissus as the subject of the poem?
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Thanks for this. I am so happy you liked this poem. It was very difficult to construct as I had all the images but placing the right phrases in the right order and changing the pace would be tricky. I used Narcissus sleeping to point out that Piaget (men in general) usually get a wake up call when their egos are hurt. They fall out of love with themselves when a woman inflicts pain. They cannot take this image of themselves as hurt, damaged beings.
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Ok, I’m laughing. Not at the poem, of course! But at “don’t be shy” on the comment box. I was trying to find what I wanted to say, and couldn’t. So I was about to “shy away” from commenting and when I looked down again at the screen, my eyes locked on “don’t be shy”.
I stil like don’t know what to say about the poem except that it is so evocative and beautiful.
Can you help me with the reference to Vera, though?
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Thanks very much for reading the poem. I had the phrase “Primavera grins” and the word is Spanish for spring. However, the “v” was too hard so I chopped it to “Vera” because in the world of the fae, the beings there would use physical names, nicknames or their own shorthand for talking about, characteristics or elements we see in the abstract. I felt it would be more personal with that contraction. Thank you for this question. I’m always happy to talk about “the making of”.
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This, this is truly a work of art shining so very bright! May you enjoy your moments. I enjoyed mine reading this
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Thank you so much, NBJ. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m also happy to have your comment, as I was curious as to how it was received. I’m enjoying my moment, now, too. x
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nice
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Thanks, Bill. Or is it, Lord William?
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Just Bill 🙂
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I’m sorry, I’m in fairytale mode. I’m unapproachable for the next sleep cycle. x
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I shall remain silent – but I really liked the poem – was the Piaget reference to the psychoanalysis of dreams, if I recall he was a child analyst who did some groundbreaking work.
If not, then I’d like to know.
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Thank you, Bill. Yes, and thank you so much for noticing and mentioning the reference to Piaget. You’ve probably noticed that Piaget is a rational, thinking, grownup male in a “fantasy world.” I put it there on purpose and it was to bring that substance to the metaphor. You’re awesome, as usual. x
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References like that make the poem subtle – which is one of the beauties of poetry.
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I have to say, the more of your verses I read, the bigger I become as a fan
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Thank you, Peter. I’m glad you like this one. x
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What a Greek Mythology ride this is 🙂
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I’m glad you like it. It’s kind of soupy but I wanted a technicolor dreamcoat.
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