Someone’s going to celebrity rehab, why not you (Satire)

Listen up, ’cause after this I bounce
Someone’s gonna be worth a billion
Gonna be a Glampire
When you sizzle
Make them hiss

(Grab that door, Mike!)
Shimmy on down
Uncross your legs
Grow some cleavage
Be a ‘ho

Someone’s gonna buy a fancy new title
Gonna be the next homewrecker
Gonna gain what they all lose
Reach the cover of Star
Gotta be fake
Drag that hose
Pat that cake
Tweak that nose

Paparazzi’s gonna get tasered
In front of your house
Someone’s gonna sell Huggies on TV
Gonna land in the pool
Make that splash
Get that endorsement
Count that cash

You’re no second best
Housewife of Beverly Hills
(Washed up on Jersey Shore)
It’s all you Dancing with the Stars
So swill that gin
Flush that pot…

Someone’s going to Celebrity Rehab…
Why not you?

paparazzi harasses Paris

Photo credit: “Paparazzi harasses Paris” by Internets Diary via Flickr/Wylio

Inspired by the Guinness “Why Not You” television commercial, “Adam King” advertising campaign for Asia 2003-2005. 


Life is short, so let’s be decent.

14 replies on “Someone’s going to celebrity rehab, why not you (Satire)”

I’m not a fan of Jay-Z either the reason I pointed it out was because the video cheapened women. I remember this video particularly because it use to play over and over and over again on the tv when I use to watch tv. It stuck on my head and I always thought how and why women would degrade themselves for fame and money ?


Thanks so much for this follow up. That’s the tragic part. It gets stuck and people learn by passively engaging with media. Then imitation comes from buying into the messages that we are fed. That we need all of that xyz in order to be happy. Or that we need to be seen as successful in order to truly be that way.

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Exactly. So many wannabes and they prop up those economies. You’d be surprised at how many people think that stuff is legit. Like you can actually make a living sitting on sofas talking swill. And how sad. x


I apologise to them for that shady remark. I should also acknowledge that they get in and out of cars. They also carry their own babies. That’s got to count for something. x

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