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Plato’s Groove on S/M

I deal with scared little boys and the women who are so needy and fearful that they surrender their bodies and souls even their own children to the power of the dominant one. The thing that goes unspoken many times is that there is power and a sense of security in the submission. The submissive ones are benefiting from the arrangement in some way or they would not stay. They are trying to save him but not out of love.

Guest post by Plato’s Groove: Learning to tell the truth of and to one’s own soul. I thank PG very much for allowing me to post his comment on S/M (a critique of the Fifty Shades of Grey film) as a standalone post. I spliced two verses from his poem AWAKE throughout the reflection. Please visit his blog to hear it read. When men are able to listen to us women speak about what we need and want for ourselves without being defensive, there is light in the world. Be well, SB.

My thoughts on the dynamic interplay between power and the people
by Plato’s Groove

I’m not a prude but the plot of the thing [the film, Fifty Shades of Grey] seems a bit twisted. I’ve heard women say when the first one was out that you needed and man or a dildo close by when you read it. I did not have either.

I did not at first understand the attraction of a rich little boy so scared that needed to totally control a woman to feel safe. I understood the fear in the guy but not how it could be so seductive to women. But then I see the themes played out every week working with addicts and domestic violence. I deal with scared little boys and the women who are so needy and fearful that they surrender their bodies and souls even their own children to the power of the dominant one.

Distraction provides just temporary satisfaction.
But your heart knows the Truth. Your heart knows the Truth.
Awake from the incantation, seek the Incarnation.
The Light shines in the darkness.
Let It shine on you.

The thing that goes unspoken many times is that there is power and a sense of security in the submission. The submissive ones are benefiting from the arrangement in some way or they would not stay. They are trying to save him but not out of love. It is the desire to save him so that she can finally be loved. But she gets to play the victim role at times and culture may not hold her accountable. Their is always a yin and yang. If he is insecure and and fearful she is too. If he has a need to control so does she and it is just as devious. The patterns match or there would be no fit.

This whole thing seems to glamorize that pattern by glossing it over with lots of orgasms. The meth heads I work with have lots of hot sex too. And they talk about it a lot. Hearing women talk about this very private thing in public is akin to that to me. Not in a judgmental way: Their preferences are not my business. But my emotional reaction was the same. I am a little embarrassed for them. My impulse is to cover the nakedness they don’t realize is apparent.

I think hot sex, like Tony the Tiger says, is “Grrrrreat!” I understand that sexual preferences and patterns can be healing and redemptive as people learn to be who they are. I have no problem or business in that place between what happens there. But this is a cultural current running through our collective consciousness. What have been the results of this latest craze besides boosting dildo and bondage equipment sales? Are people more confident and fulfilled? Are women more empowered? Where are the feminist in this discussion? Are men more confident? Or has the culture been nudged just a bit toward that which will not set them free.

Caesar has no love for you, you’re a number on a page.
Doctrine is a guide, but its just trappings on the stage.
Life is calling you to wake up (now).
Shake off the webs they weave.
Step into Reality, become more than you (can) conceive.

There is a sense of freedom is the drug addict too. For a while they exist in a place where practicing their addiction feels like freedom and being who they are. It is an exhilarating ride till they end up getting pimped out and in bondage to that which can not set them free. There is always intention behind anything that happens in the media. There are powers which benefit from the bondage of the masses.

This story (50 Shades of Grey) seems to be a perfect metaphor of the dynamic interplay between power and the people. It was just another whisper suggesting “Go back to sleep. It’s OK. This is how it should be. Don’t it feel good? We will take care of you as long as you are our slaves.”

By ΠιCΘLΣ

Life is short, so let’s be decent.

11 replies on “Plato’s Groove on S/M”

I’ve never thought of S/M being compared as an addict’s addiction, the feeling of being free yet “end up getting pimped out and in bondage.” I always thought of bondage as a trust and control issue. That you would only participate if you gave total trust to that person and love I think that’s an important element. If these two elements are not there, it quickly becomes something that is dirty and shameful. I wonder though does a man need absolute control to feel that the woman belongs to him ?

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Good post, both, thank you. You’ve expressed something of what I feel about this story and area of activity: platosgroove your comment “Or has the culture been nudged just a bit toward that which will not set them free.” is, in my opinion, spot on. It is why I have chosen not to see the film, I don’t want to spend time immersed in what I feel to be a fundamentally unhelpful, if not harmful, relationship for all involved. This may be an unfashionable, even unpopular, point of view but that is what I feel.
I could read more but have to get back to some necessary tasks. Thanks again and best wishes.

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Thank you sir for your thoughtful comments. I tend to mistrust popular trends. More than likely most folks who are reading and contributing to this discussion would assent to the idea that culture and the media politics, etc all have actual mind numbing and “controlling” effects on the population. The thing is many times we don’t see ourselves as one of those people. There is no judgement in any of my statements about this but when a mass of people behave in ways that goes against their own self interest and good something odd is going on. When intelligent people just go along without reflection or conscious awareness there is some influence coming to bear on that behavior.

I personally think that for as long as the psychopathic impulse to control and use others has been the motivation behind power systems (government, religions, etc,) there have been technologies used to influence thought and behavior. This allows few to rule many and the many to produce the wealth and the power for the few. They used to call it magic or religion in the form of the worship of kings and special bloodlines. Now it is called marketing. Only now it is more powerful and pervasive because of the technology that is close to being ubiquitous throughout the world population.

For example even though I am a christian (small c) I am aware that tomorrow’s celebration has much more to do with ancient fertility celebrations than that of a resurrection except that of the earth. Much of christianity has very weird symbology. It is like small children are programmed early that Jesus climbed the sacred evergreen tree where he died but came back to life again in a colored egg. And his buddies Santa and rabbit help in it somehow.

I am not “against” any of it but the results basically are a mass participation in rituals that net the rulers huge amounts of energy and money. There are always exceptions to any one individual’s experience of these things but in my mind the overall purpose and result has little to do with the teachings of Jesus. In fact they are almost opposite in many ways. The “least of these” are not profoundly helped by these observances. Sorry for the rant. 🙂 I thought to stop by and say hello. Hope I have not overstayed my welcome. Happy ISHTAR Be Groovy!

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🙂 🙂 🙂 I grinned like the boy that I am. Love you too! Now I am gonna go get ready for church. They are having a helicopter drop 6000 eggs for the kids to pick up. (not making it up) I described it laughingly as reenacting “Rainman” inseminating the earth with embryonic plastic Jesus’ all around. I know the staff and leaders fairly well and they are good folk. It will be fun for the kids. Just doubt they will want me to speak this morning.:) They do call when some shit goes down though. In the body of Christ I think I must be an asshole. That seems to be my role. I am so grateful that the Creator provides grace for all our foolishness. I am most in need of it. Blessings my friend and love. May the knowledge of the One who sustains us all rise anew in you this day and my that grace surround and enrich you greatly. May your intentions and actions be most fertile and the work of your hands produce a great harvest. And may that prosperity free you in every way.

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Thank you so much and I hope you have a great day at Church. I think the eggs are a treat, I hope they don’t fall on someone’s head. My only concern is safety at this point. I know you’re a believer but it’s rare to hear that sort of anti dogma statement coming from someone who is not a skeptic. Thanks for writing such truth here for others to read. My blog is your playground and have a great Easter Sunday. x SB

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The skeptics are just as “religious”. They are just not aware of the deity they are in service to. Many most chaste kisses and hugs. Now to put on my colorful shirt! 🙂

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You are a grown woman with a full set of ovaries. Tell it! If they are asleep you can’t wake them up. Only pain or god can do that. If they don’t understand it’s irrevelant at least till they know. But they remain children of our creator awake or asleep. Go girl!

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Thank you so much for this post, PG. Your statement that “There is always intention behind anything that happens in the media. There are powers which benefit from the bondage of the masses.” Of course, when we say that, we do end up sounding like conspiracy theorists. But this was the point I tried to make in Section Three of my just ended installation. We are distractible and are easy to soothe but at the same time, caught up in a web of deceit that may harm us if the people who are handling the ropes and pulleys are not doing so for our benefit.

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