Plato’s Groove on S/M

Guest post by Plato’s Groove: Learning to tell the truth of and to one’s own soul. I thank PG very much for allowing me to post his comment on S/M (a critique of the Fifty Shades of Grey film) as a standalone post. I spliced two verses from his poem AWAKE throughout the reflection. Please visit his blog to hear it read. When men are able to listen to us women speak about what we need and want for ourselves without being defensive, there is light in the world. Be well, SB.

My thoughts on the dynamic interplay between power and the people
by Plato’s Groove

I’m not a prude but the plot of the thing [the film, Fifty Shades of Grey] seems a bit twisted. I’ve heard women say when the first one was out that you needed and man or a dildo close by when you read it. I did not have either.

I did not at first understand the attraction of a rich little boy so scared that needed to totally control a woman to feel safe. I understood the fear in the guy but not how it could be so seductive to women. But then I see the themes played out every week working with addicts and domestic violence. I deal with scared little boys and the women who are so needy and fearful that they surrender their bodies and souls even their own children to the power of the dominant one.

Distraction provides just temporary satisfaction.
But your heart knows the Truth. Your heart knows the Truth.
Awake from the incantation, seek the Incarnation.
The Light shines in the darkness.
Let It shine on you.

The thing that goes unspoken many times is that there is power and a sense of security in the submission. The submissive ones are benefiting from the arrangement in some way or they would not stay. They are trying to save him but not out of love. It is the desire to save him so that she can finally be loved. But she gets to play the victim role at times and culture may not hold her accountable. Their is always a yin and yang. If he is insecure and and fearful she is too. If he has a need to control so does she and it is just as devious. The patterns match or there would be no fit.

This whole thing seems to glamorize that pattern by glossing it over with lots of orgasms. The meth heads I work with have lots of hot sex too. And they talk about it a lot. Hearing women talk about this very private thing in public is akin to that to me. Not in a judgmental way: Their preferences are not my business. But my emotional reaction was the same. I am a little embarrassed for them. My impulse is to cover the nakedness they don’t realize is apparent.

I think hot sex, like Tony the Tiger says, is “Grrrrreat!” I understand that sexual preferences and patterns can be healing and redemptive as people learn to be who they are. I have no problem or business in that place between what happens there. But this is a cultural current running through our collective consciousness. What have been the results of this latest craze besides boosting dildo and bondage equipment sales? Are people more confident and fulfilled? Are women more empowered? Where are the feminist in this discussion? Are men more confident? Or has the culture been nudged just a bit toward that which will not set them free.

Caesar has no love for you, you’re a number on a page.
Doctrine is a guide, but its just trappings on the stage.
Life is calling you to wake up (now).
Shake off the webs they weave.
Step into Reality, become more than you (can) conceive.

There is a sense of freedom is the drug addict too. For a while they exist in a place where practicing their addiction feels like freedom and being who they are. It is an exhilarating ride till they end up getting pimped out and in bondage to that which can not set them free. There is always intention behind anything that happens in the media. There are powers which benefit from the bondage of the masses.

This story (50 Shades of Grey) seems to be a perfect metaphor of the dynamic interplay between power and the people. It was just another whisper suggesting “Go back to sleep. It’s OK. This is how it should be. Don’t it feel good? We will take care of you as long as you are our slaves.”