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People women writing

Envy™ The Food Drink of Glampions

There’s a better way to make your point when others lack perspective: Shine your own light. Set the example. If you shine brightly enough, the blind won’t ever be able to see you, but some of your rays might penetrate through the skin.

Matcha Green Tea Latte For Two
Image: Green tea latte via Green Tea Guide

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Envy is the tax which all distinction must pay.” He’s probably never met a Glampion. A Glampion’s envy is the heavy tax which innocent bystanders are forced to pay. When someone picks on you, they might be living out a fantasy life inspired by someone famous, real or imagined.

Is it reasonable to say that these people have a twisted opinion of themselves? I think we each have different measures for our self concept. However, it is important to maintain a balanced perspective.

The theme of this post is “envy”. It could have been insecurity or defensiveness because often these three form a triad. Envy happens when others can’t be happy with what you have. Insecurity is most likely the trigger. Defensiveness is the easiest remedy: We measure our this with their that.

Power envy happens when Glampions secretly wish they could be as influential as [name a celebrity]. Their desires thwarted, they turn on someone they believe to be weaker than they are. People of this mindset either lack the capacity to face up to their own inadequacies or they don’t have the self confidence to thrive in the presence of others who are doing well. Many of the people we envy struggle in some way and would be fortunate to be in our shoes.


Why be so nasty and so rude, when I can be so fierce, so fabulous and so successful.
Nene Leakes, Sunday March 15, 2015, via her Twitter account.

Sometimes I really want to sock it to people who get it twisted. In doing so, I am mindful that there’s a difference between being fierce and being rude.

We can thrive in a world of talented, shining stars. It is hard to remember that because mediocre people dominate our news feeds. I believe we should set high standards for ourselves. Sometimes we will be discouraged. I think we should do as much as we can, and drop that when we want to try something else.

We work hard to become champions raised up by substantial wins. Sometimes, however, we might get distracted by two-dimensional tokens of achievement. This is where a balanced perspective plays a role. It allows us to measure the weight of our trophies before using them to browbeat others. When we do that, it is hard for Glampions to crush our spirits with their own paper-thin trophies.

For the benefit of others who lack perspective: Shine your own light. They don’t need to comprehend your brilliance for you to be a star in your own right. If you burn brightly enough, the blind may never see you, but your rays might penetrate through the skin.

Note: Updated November 22, 2016 @ 08.04. This post was originally published on March 17, 2015.

By ΠιCΘLΞ

Life is short, so let’s be decent.

62 replies on “Envy™ The Food Drink of Glampions”

Great Leakes quote. How wonderful. I liked your “distracted by two-dimensional tokens of achievement.” That seems so true of making the kind of comparisons that result in envy; they’re so limited in scope when we as people are multi-dimensional and our lives truly uncomparable. Shine your own light – wise advice 🙂

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Green tea latte looks delish! Now Im craving one! You have a unique style to your writing SB, I feel you take the readers on a inspirational journey. I always enjoy the ride. The comparison of woman bloggers made me giggle and reaching the end of your post, made me stop a think. You said it well, “shine your light set the example.” Thank you, have a wonderful day!

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Thank you, Kunal. Again, titles are wonderful and I pay attention to them, but I hold that person to a high standard. Otherwise, they’re not worth my attention.

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Very insightful. Envy – it comes so naturally – can be a death spiral of taking. Taking away from others when you can’t have what they have, taking away your own joy, taking away your time. It seems to me that giving can be a life spiral – celebrating the success of others, giving away your praise, giving value to others, giving success to others. This giving has a way of giving back, not in the least in terms of a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction, which can sometimes lead to more inspiration in one’s own work.

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These are all the points I sought to make in the essay. Thank you for reading. I remind myself that at times people don’t want to do the hard work so they sabotage others to lower the standards all round so they don’t have to feel inadequate. True stories abound. Often they pose as friends.

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Over my years of blogging, I’ve gone from envy (in it’s nicest form if there is such a thing) to outright support of unknown but vastly talented others. Somewhere along the line I realized that so many of us put our brokenness out there for others to see and don’t know that we are doing it. In the meanwhile, we either heal and move on or we don’t. Once I got there, I stopped being afraid to extend my gifts and try now to give them to the world around me. I’m not perfect, and sometimes I have to apologize for some ill-chosen word or thoughtless reaction, but blogging and really reading got me to hearing and listening and awareness.

I find that I like coming here. A LOT. Oh, and Instagram (where I’ve started sharing all my poetry) has opened a whole new world of brokenness to me. Thank goodness, I read better and receive better than I did 8 years ago.

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Thanks for your support and for reading, Annie. I have always been an admirer of beauty in others. I find that the more competent and skilled people are, the smoother things go for me. A part of that is self interest, but I have always relied on people with better training and talent than I to fix me or help me up, healthwise, so the gratefulness for that extends to everything. I am happy you’ve made it this far on your journey. The brokenness you’ve mentioned was right on point and it was something I shared privately with Nadia, the author of the post that led you here. I told her that the only thing that can heal private rejection is a public offering. You can’t get more hurt, right? And I found instead a warm embrace. I appreciate your support and hope to see you again, soon. x

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I LIKE YOU!!

That’s not something I get to give away too many people.. I really do like your perspective on life and not so surprisingly, it coincides with mine..

Further, your post reminded me some long forgotten thought I had..

Here it is..

A flower blooms for itself and not to advertise its beauty.. Yet, there is no advertisement for a flower better than its own scent and beauty.. Hence, if a flower goes unnoticed, it’s the loss of the bee.. A flower has nothing to lose by not being noticed..

Be yourself and don’t bother about the followers or for spreading your talents to the world..

For the flower that blooms for itself is always far more beautiful than any creation to please anybody else.. 🙂

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Thank you for adding this moving perspective. I’m so glad we’re both on the same page. You’re so right about flowers. They smell great and they look beautiful. Even in the thickest jungle the rarest flower basks in the sliver of light that falls through the trees.

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SB, I love you girl. I made a lot of ppl read this article. Especially I made my mom read it and here is what she had to say. ‘Yeah! She makes sense! Learn something from her will you!’ And I couldnt agree less.

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Thank you so much for your support. I’m happy your Mom approved. You’re a Champion for young women, through your thought provoking work on your blog. I am happy you’re outspoken and I am sure that others will adjust to you and raise themselves up. Love, SB.

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I’ve just read this post and all the comments, and am impressed by the love, and growth that everyone has shown inside themselves. Irrespective of what we look like, how much money we have, the disabilities that may blight our lives, we need to remember: we’re all on earth for the same thing – to learn! We chose the path we’re on, and the difficulties we face, before we even entered this incarnation, and it’s a credit to every one here, that they’re allowing their soul to shine through their human existence. No matter who we are, or what celebrity status we have, or the issues we face, we ‘all’ get up in the morning, go to the bathroom the same way, eat & drink to survive, and we’ll ‘all’ die at some stage, so we need to adhere to our own personal ethics, and remember that no-one is any better or worse than us…..we’re ‘all’ just spirit walking, in human form, no matter how temporarily. Travel safe on your life’s path, everyone!

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Thank you so much for adding your thoughts to this reflection. I was moved by everyone’s support and the thoughtful comments as well, and I am happy I wrote this post, because I think we’re all tired of being spoken down to by others who feel they are in a position of power and therefore entitled to rub their success in our faces. Not everyone can ignore that message and get on with their day. I wonder sometimes what it is we are adjusting to. I wrote this to signal that it is better to forge and maintain bonds with people and know you can just be accepted no matter what you are doing. Everyone is a Champion here. Thank you for saying these encouraging words to us.

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Your post was so heartfelt, and obviously ‘words from your soul’ which can only come from someone very spiritually evolved, or someone who has had pain in their life. Spirit only give us what they know we can cope with, and no matter our journey, they’ll always stand in our corner, so that when we feel the world is too overwhelming, we have their shoulder to lean on. Anyone who feels it’s their right to denigrate another, is just on a lower spiritual vibration, and will eventually have to face the karmic repercussions of their actions, even if it’s in the next life-time. I’m not religious in the accepted sense, but what did Jesus say ” Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do”, and sometimes that’s what we have to do; not necessarily forgive, but just; let it all go over the top of our heads.

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Thank you again for this penetrating comment. I realise that it’s best to use the pain creatively, instead of hiding it or running away. Thank you for understanding everyone on both sides of this. You’re right, the lower vibrations cause the misery and suffering and envy is often the result. This post is, again, for people who absorb it into their image making framework. Thank you so much for these encouraging words of wisdom, which we all need right now. Love, SB.

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I am so grateful for what I have in this world, the love of my family, friends, and co-workers that I don’t have time to envy anyone. It is all about self acceptance, even the flaws that keep my healthy self esteem. The blind who cannot see do not matter, it is the ones who love and appreciate your own special light that matter the most. Thank you for your insightful post. xoxox

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Thank you, Barbara, xoxoxo. It is good to be too engrossed in our own things to worry about what blind people are saying about our lack of talent or awesomeness. Sadly, there are things I can’t unsee, and I regret exploring sometimes because you see the dark dirty inner worlds of people. However, on the plus side, I have met some gifted people. I wanted to write this for them in case they fell victim to that sort of abusive behaviour.

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I like what you wrote regarding blindness as a metaphor for the arrogance some people possess to overlook others with their own self importance. I used to be influenced by this type of toxic behavior, but learned to ignore this negativity. I don’t need this to permeate a joyful spirit. You are very right, this is abusive behavior and this type of person targets those who are struggling.

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Thank you for recognising the metaphor. I think I need to be stronger, myself and to not be so influenced. I definitely also wrote this for myself, if you think about it like that. We all can look to mature insight like yours until we make it there ourselves. Thank you for sharing.

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It is hard not to be influenced as this is the way of the world. Your post reminds me that blind people have a choice to see, that I have a choice to see beyond their blindness. Your metaphor speaks so strongly to me, and what really matters the most which is the wisdom of opening the eyes to see. Love, BHB oxoxo

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Thank you again, and I hope readers will scroll down here to read this conversation. Lots of wisdom from you, and yes, we can make the choice to see what they can’t, which is our value. Love, SB.

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My dear, newest friend: I wouldn’t know you on the street. Who you are, what you look like, where you find yourself. But, the day you were born, I suspect you opened your eyes and saw things as they really were, looked at those around you and saw through them, then spoke and were understood. There isn’t an ounce of the self-serving in you, nor cloud over you, and there probably never was. If I knew what a Glampion was, it would make no more difference: you give us all the gumption to press on. “If you burn brightly enough, the blind may never see you but your rays might penetrate through the skin.” There it is. The poetry ends the story. Mwah! ❤

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Mwah, times one thousand for that lovely comment, my dear Ruth Ann.. Thank you. It’s the violin concertos. They harmonise us. And, if anyone has gumption, it is you!

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Recently, I decided (it’s in a piece somewhere/title escapes me) that we might very well express certain traits or characteristics BECAUSE of the synergy between ourselves and that other person. Meaning: they would not otherwise emerge, at all. You do that thing. And, I recognized you instantly. That. There.

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p.s. I do wrestle with not the envy but how, when I see what someone else “has”, and want to share in a part of that, how to find my place there without creating negative space in what they already own or possess. Believing that we can all be linked in some way, what to do when those with whom we wish to link have closed their chains? (this is about to be posted before I read your gold star which just now lit up)

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It is very important to do as you are doing, which is to acknowledge the feelings. You’re right. Sometimes borders are closed off to us and that is an unpleasant feeling but it can motivate us to succeed in other ways. This is what I meant by “the blind may not see us”. Those were the people I was talking about: The ones with whom we wish to link won’t always have their arms open to embrace us. It’s been my experience too.

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I am not beauty…but, I am full of perseverance. (And down for the count with an illness, new job germs). Great, insightful post…I almost thought it was about me 😉 I am often challenged by the “why” in these social spaces, why write, promote, create, until I solve a problem, and then I think why not, its my space for me to share experiences and others can choose to participate if they feel like it or not, a space for me to evolve it has been.

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BL, I’m sorry to hear that you’re not feeling well. I hope you get better soon. Need more juicy gossip. Of course, your health is all about me. The post was definitely not directed at you or any of my present readers. It was really about bloggers who have a megachurch full of readers but still can’t be satisfied with what they have. They also have to use dirty psychological tricks to discourage or demoralise people who look up to them. You are right, though, that it is your space and do what you want to do with it. You have beauty and you have strength. That’s all we need to fend off the nasty remarks of people who can’t be satisfied with more than enough.

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I think what I took away from this is to be great but for your *own* sake. Judgement and envy both come from the same mistake of making assumptions. We envy people because what we see on the surface is good and we assume that everything about the person goes perfectly. We judge because we assume that a person is a mess and interact with them like our assumption is correct. Instead of envying and judging, we should all focus on our own goals (in life, career happiness) because that’s the only way we can ultimately be happy.

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Thank you for this interpretation. I appreciate your reading. I sometimes feel that we are vulnerable to criticism and comparison because we are social creatures who love attention and appreciation. I feel that you can’t get both unless you’re willing to give some away. That is where your point is so important. Assumptions are a different blog post, and you’ll know you hit the nail on the head with this point when you read that post. It’s upcoming, but bear in mind your actual comment just now when you read.

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If only we could just love ourselves enough to give others their space and credit where it is due. Just seems like a lot of effort with no meaningful outcome. Thank you for reading, SB

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“It’s not my fault that I’m so pretty. I sometimes get sad and wish that I was ugly like most of the world then I wouldn’t feel so isolated… but then I look in the mirror and see how pretty I am and then I’m happy again. Hee Hee Hee”

Animals are quite clever in the fact that when they first meet you they don’t ask “What do you do for a living?” and then with the subsequent answer decide how much respect you deserve depending upon your status in society. Humans seem to do this quite frequently, as if what you are is more important than who you are. For a living I collect colours, sunrises and delicately thin new moon curves as well as playing guitar, writing poetry and being friends with friendly like minded people.

“I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and selfcontain’d,
I stand and look at them long and long.
They do not sweat and whine about their condition,
They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins,
They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God,
Not one is dissatisfied, not one is demented with the mania of owning things,
Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago,
Not one is respectable or unhappy over the whole earth.”
– Walt Whitman

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Thanks for this insightful comment. I agree with your points especially your statement that even animals don’t ask you “What do you do for a living?” the first time they meet each other. I think there is a crisis of identity going on and people don’t really know they can just be as they are without the comparison and the glampaigning. It just gets on my nerves sometimes. But thanks for saying it. I do see the “I’m so ugly” and then the photogenic faces staring right at me almost every day. I think, this woman knows she’s beautiful. I smile and move on.

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We are just like fractions, the numerator is who you really are and the denominator is what you perceive of yourself, the larger the denominator, the smaller the fraction…

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Thank you so much for reading and for your kind support, as usual, TFR! The post with the quote from your post is coming out tomorrow, so please watch out for it. Be well, as always. SB

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Thank you TFR, it is a high compliment coming from a woman of your strength and powerful character. You have a great deal of wisdom and I am learning to be strong in my conviction by reading your words. Thanks for inspiring me. SB

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