Categories
Earth Mars

Manitoba

[ Translated ]

Di
[ Downloading dictionaries. ]

Ti
[ Are we using the child’s translation protocol. ]

Di
[ Yes. It should let us read what they are saying off our visors. We might not be able to communicate over voice protocols. ]

Ei
[ Mission command: Upload a voice protocol patch sooner than at once. Code override through external speakers in our breathing masks. ]

Chris
What’s up? Are you guys on location? Is that a glider? It’s fracking awesome!

Kim
Are those the Mars Elect Turbo ski masks Junya Watanabe designed for Comme Des Garçons? I love. I want. I need. Did you know, Junya spoke his design idea to an AI that was created for him by British Aeorspace? The AI did all of the layouts in three dimensional holograms.

Chris
I had no idea. But, those look like a tight fit. Are yours customised? I mean, that should cost you a fortune already.

Kim
Can we take photos with you for my Instagram? My friends are not going to believe this.

Chris
Where are you guys from?

Kim
Thanks… Wait…. One more….

Di
Mars. Sector Five Gorant A…. Quadrant A.

Chris
Cool. I’ve always wanted to visit Norway. Especially for the winter sports.

Kim
Yeah. Winters get so lonely out here in Manitoba, Christopher. Let’s both get in the shot.

Chris
You guys lost?

Di
Yes. We lost this.

Kim
That’s … What is that? Is it … Aren’t you guys shooting that movie? Lam..Lamba.. Lamda Six.

Ti
We do not shoot. We are Scout Team Delta.

Chris
Location scouts, cool.

Ei
Have you seen this object.

Chris
I haven’t, but we could drive around in my snowmobile. It’s a converted VW bug… it’s … safe. I don’t know if you can all fit.

Ei
Do you know the area well “Manitoba, Christopher.”

Chris
Yeah. I …we grew up here.

Kim
You guys all sound like Siri. That’s weird.

Chris
Who’da thunk it? The male voice was modelled after a Norwegian.

Ti
We have no currency. If you help us search the sector, we will give you our ground scout vehicle. As payment.

Kim
Awesome. But you don’t need to do that, eh. We’re cool with Instagram photos.

Chris
Yeah. Welcome to Canada. We’ll help you look. Come on. Get in.

Ei
Let us make two teams. Christopher. Ground. … Glide … Gliders …

Chris
I get to glide on that?!! Fracking awesome!!! What’s this?

Ti
It is called a Frame Loaded Z Axis Gravitational Compensator.

Chris
A what now?

Ti
Synonym… magnet… It is a “fracking awesome!!!” magnet. Strap it on your wrist, directly on the skin. It will prevent you separating from the glider.

Chris
See ya!

Kim
I’m Kim. Where do I go?

Ei
Kim. Air. Commode.

Kim
You mean stay here? I’m good. But you guys can go ahead if you like… Where’s your commode?

Di
You are standing in front of it.

Kim
I don’t think you guys should go to the bathroom out here. Not at these temperatures. You guys should know that, being from Norway.

Di
Kim is not wearing a visor. Perhaps deactivate the sensory disruptors.

Kim
Holyshitthatsnotacommode!!!

Ei
[ Resonance imaging is detecting acute restriction of blood flow to the cerebrum. Showing serosecretions from these mirrored organs here ].

Di
[ He might not be properly insulated from the cold. Help me carry him. He’ll warm up indoors. ]

Ei
[ On count of three, two, one … ]

Ei and Di
[ Lift! ]

By ΠιCΘLΣ

Life is short, so let’s be decent.