Join the Revolution

Shultz
Does life on Mars matter more than the lives of our children here on Earth?
As we launch ourselves on yet another mission doomed to fail,
let us think about what matters most and act, now.
Join the Revolution.

Narrator
That was a public service announcement sponsored by
Proctor and Gamble and the Darfur Children’s Initiative.
Support your local charities and donate now.
Visit www dot Gamble for Darfur dot com.

Nurse G
The Shultz-Bajani marriage still has the world divided.

Hannah
And yet, he’s so hot when he’s saving African babies.

Nurse I
You think they’ll adopt a Darfurian?

Nurse G
Adopt or buy.

Nurse I
Good point. … There, I’ve donated the equivalent of a sandwich and five seconds of my time.

Hannah
How’s the diet?

Nurse I
Not eating bread is stressful, but my ass is … Check out my Instagram.

Nurse G
Wow. Tell me what you don’t eat. Wait, what’s that?

Nurse I
It’s an interactive game to promote a new movie from my favourite boyfriend, husband and lover, Luke St James. You find a place on the planet and stare at it through Google Earth in hopes of finding a large spaceship that crashed here from Mars. The Martian boy is supposed to be nearby, so we have to follow the clues and try to track where he’s been taken or where he went if he left the ship. I hear it took three years to construct a life sized ship, and then they damaged it so it looks like a real wreck. It could be buried in quicksand for all we know.

Hannah
It’s gone viral over the last eight hours. There are three apps for it, already. There’s one that lets you take selfies with aliens now.

Nurse G
Sometimes I hate being a nurse. Everything cool happens when you’re on shift. Send me the link? Where did you search?

Nurse I
I took Africa, because it has a huge desert, so it’s the perfect place to look, but I’ve had no luck. I don’t even remember what I’m looking for.

Hannah
Show me the game rules again?

Nurse G
Everyone’s looking in Africa because of the Shultz PSA about the Mars mission controversy. Let’s try looking at Australia. Not that anything happens there, but you know he loves mudding in Alice Springs with Razor Crane.

Hannah
There is a countdown. It says time minus twelve hours.

Nurse I
No time. Let’s divide it into three parts and scour it.

Martine
Nurse? We need you for a briefing in recovery. It’s for the aorta patch patient.

Hannah
Right away, Doctor Russell.