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Rabbit out of a Hat

St Lucas
Hello, Beth.

Lilibeth
Mid stroke?

St Lucas
Yes, literally. I just finished ninety nine laps in the pool.

Lilibeth
Show off. Here is the thing. Your grey friend popped up. Scared the crap out of me just now. He’s for real. He is in a dark room somewhere, and he is unconscious.

St Lucas
So you believe me.

Lilibeth
Yeah. But there’s a glitch. I … my special … technique only works with people who know where they are. Which is usually the case with criminals, fugitives, and the like. They have plans and intentions, and I can see what they are going to do. I can be five moves ahead of them. It’s visual data, that I use and …well your friend is …unaware of our… ahm. He’s never been here before so, I can’t find him with visual data from his reference point. That means I have to do some actual sleuthing.

St Lucas
Right.

Lilibeth
Luckily, I have mad skills. But I’m going to need you to pull a rabbit out of a hat. You have star power. I need you to use your influence somehow to get every person on Earth with Internet access looking for your friend.

St Lucas
That’s…

Lilibeth
Just hear me out. You’re going to get them to look but, they can’t know what they’re really looking for. They have to think it’s real. I need all eyes on every agency in the world that could possibly have picked up your friend. I want them bombarded with requests for information. This is important because we can cross check patterns in the movement of data we have already collected for analysis at my base of operations, if we can get some serious amplification. It’s like injecting dye into a patient’s arteries when you’re looking for an aneurysm. I gather from their advanced technology that our Martian friends are monitoring us remotely. We need to shout loud and clear that we are looking for the child. What I’m saying is, in order to demonstrate that we’re busy working, I’m going to need you to start an information war, but on a global scale.

St Lucas
I get it. You have two brains, and I’m very grateful for that. So you want me to be in front of it?

Lilibeth
On the sides, but there. I don’t want anything in your past or present to overtake the situation. Your friend might be safe if we can keep the people holding him distracted for long enough. We need to either find his exact location or have him ourselves before his father gets here with those fierce looking people in the screen grabs. I need to get moving. It’s now time minus thirty hours.

St Lucas
The kind of operation you’re talking about will need more time than that, but okay, I have access to a few geniuses right here in New York.

Lilibeth
Rabbit out of a hat. Pull on it.

St Lucas
I’ll get on it, right now.

Lilibeth
Good, catch me up later. Siemus!

Siemus
Ma’am.

Lilibeth
Climb into bed with me… … … … … Why are you soft?

Siemus
I think it’s unprofessional to respond.

Lilibeth
Damned Navy Seals discipline school. Alright… Get out… Oh, and while you’re at it, get that fat-ass bitch on the phone.

Siemus
Which one, Ma’am?

Lilibeth
The half ton Disneyland squatter who bled all over my bed last week. I had to knead a full pound of flesh to find his disco stick. While he was rambling incoherently, he mentioned something interesting and I now know it’s going to help my client.

Siemus
Right away, Ma’am.

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Lilibeth
Hello, Peter, my Loch Sex Monster. Baby, sweetie, honey, darling.

Joseph
Hi, baby, I miss you.

Lilibeth
I miss you too, baby. Ahm, I need your help. I’m doing research for a children’s book I’m writing, and I thought you could, like, you know, help me.

Joseph
Oh, that’s so sweet, baby. Sure, anything for you.

Lilibeth
Well, it’s about visitors from…I feel so silly saying this… other..worlds… And I thought your friend you mentioned, the one in Los Angeles, with the radio show, could have material for my project. Would you be good enough to, like, let me have his information? I mean of course, unless…

Joseph
No, no, no. It’s fine, I’m sure he’ll be so flattered that anyone’s paying attention to him.

Lilibeth
You know, everyone has value, even if we don’t agree with them.

Joseph
You’re so mature, baby.

Lilibeth
Thank you, baby. I have to go, because I have a meeting with my publisher. Can you text me the information? Please?

Joseph
Of course, honey. I love you, baby.

Lilibeth
I love you too, Peter.

By ΠιCΘLΣ

Life is short, so let’s be decent.

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